Love and War
by Jane Doe
Summary: *FINISHED* Sara gets attacked and Grissom's leadership skills get called into question. r/r!
1. Default Chapter

Love & War 

By Jane Doe 

Disclaimer: Not mine, I just write about them. 

Summary: Sara is attacked and Grissom's leadership gets put in the spotlight. 

Author's Notes: In this fic Sara and Grissom are the new couple, just because I couldn't stand to put them together again because Sara got hurt. My first stab at a romance so sorry if it is unbearable. True love and all that. I hope you enjoy it! Please send me a review to tell me what ya think ;) 

Chapter 1: The Attack 

It all happened so fast really. She didn't even know what was happening until it was too late. She was at the top of the stairs dusting for prints on the banister when he tackled her from behind knocking the wind from her lungs. It seemed to be in slow motion like it wasn't even be happening. She seemed detached. She saw herself struggling against his weight and screaming for help. Then she became fully aware when he slammed her head into the floor. A wave of nausea washed over her entire body. 

"Damn that worked out nicely." He said. "Did I hurt you?" He rolled Sara onto her back to get a clear view of his damage. He smiled. The fresh gash was dripping blood into her eyes. She fumbled for her gun but he caught her. "We can't have you hurting someone with that." He tossed in down the hallway. Sara watched it slide across the hard wood floor. "Cut looks bad." His tone was mocking as he pressed his finger into it. A new wave of pain washed over her. 

"Get the hell off me!" She screamed. The consequence was a solid connection between the back of his hand and Sara's face. Blood spewed from her mouth. 

Suddenly she couldn't think straight. Her mind was a mixture of thoughts. She thought of her parents, what she had for breakfast, Nick's latest joke, college, Greg's smile, the last case she solved, the waitress at the diner where she got coffee with Warrick last week, the music she was listening to in her car, the CD she borrowed from Catherine, and then it all went blank. Through the chaos she thought of Grissom. He was her boss, her colleague, her mentor, her friend, and now her boyfriend. The passed month they spent together was amazing. They finally went beyond friendship when he asked her out on a date. He was the perfect gentleman the whole time. He was now part of her life. They hadn't even gotten passed the dating phase yet, but the kisses were enough for now. He was a great kisser. Then at the thought of him in pain because of her made her want to cry. This man was going to kill her and the last conversation with Grissom was filled of hateful and angry words. She would do anything to see him now, to apologize for their fight. 

The man grabbed her arms and pulled her to a standing position. "Look at me." Sara's eyes tried to focus. He must be the guy that robbed the place. She was trying to memorize this bastard's face. If he got away, she would find him. 

"Don't look at me like that!" He pushed her against the wall. 

Sara put all her energy into keeping herself and him calm. If she wanted to live she had to keep him under control. Keep him subdued until help can arrive. "Sorry. Look let's just talk." 

"You don't recognize me?" A slow smile spread across his lips. 

Panic overcame her. He knew her. It was a planned attack. Planning meant purpose and if that was any indication she was in trouble. There is no help Sara, you're working solo and the officer is only God knows where! What are you waiting for Sara? You know hand-to-hand combat, attack him! 

Sara kicked him in the shin and used all her weight to push him to the ground. She started to run for her gun but he tripped her. She hit the ground hard. He stood up and kicked her in the side. Sara screamed and he kicked her again. 

"Shut up bitch!" He picked her up by the hair. "Look at me dammit!" He searched her eyes. "Oh Miss Sidle, you don't remember me? I remember you. How could I forget such a pretty face." He reached out and caressed her cheek. "Jarod Morse. You were working solo on my case, well my girlfriend's case. I killed her remember. I killed her because that slut was cheating on me. Now do you remember?" The guy was sick. He was actually gloating about killing someone. 

Sara searched the corners of her mind but found no recollection of such a person. He didn't know how he would react if she didn't recognize him. She had to buy time until someone found her. "Yes now I remember." 

He frowned. "You're lying Sara. Do they teach you to lie when you become a CSI? Is it part of the training? Or is it just the fact that you're a woman and in natural for you to lie. 'Cause you know it's really a shame." 

Sara started to fall. She couldn't stand anymore. All the blood ran from her head to her feet. She saw his lips move but didn't hear the words. She felt the stomach bile rising in her throat. "I am going to be sick." She mumbled. 

He punched her in the stomach to shut her up. "Don't interrupt me. You put me away for ten long ass years Sara Sidle and I believe it's my turn for the spotlight. San Francisco, solo case, dead female found in bathroom with her wrists cut, remember? I had it all planned out to match a suicide but you still caught me. Such a little investigator. I bet you didn't see this coming, did you bitch?" He laughed. "Well enough about me it's time to repay the debt." 

She couldn't think anymore. It was all impulse. The case drifted back as he retold it. Suicide but no it was murder. There were too many missing factors for a suicide. She found out that... 

"Give me your arm." She blinked back to the present. He tried to grab her arm but she fought back. "Why are you making this so hard?!" He sent her flying down the stairs. 

She desperately grabbed for the banister railing but to now avail could she stop herself. She felt her ribs and head smack a few steps. The pain was almost unbearable but she didn't hear any cracking which was always a good sign. She finally hit the bottom with a thud. He frowned and walked slowly down the steps. "You know Sara, I just wanted to see your arm." 

"Go to hell!" She screamed. She put all her energy into scrambling to the door to get the officer's attention but he came running down the stairs to throw her back to the foot of the stairs. 

She stumbled and hit the floor again. He came over to sit on top of her pinning her to the floor. He slammed the back of her head into the floor again to render her defenseless. Then he grabbed her arm and slowly pulled out his knife. Sara was struggling to stay awake. 

"You know that a form of Chinese torture is to make tiny cuts all over the body. The pain is excruciating they say. In dealing with someone who is serious about suicide they always choose the cutting of the wrists. It's painful yet once the blood flow gets going you get a relaxing feeling. That's why I chose suicide for Ann. Granted I actually killed her but I was just trying to help her along the way. She was so depressed when she found out that I might leave her. Suicide seemed to be fitting for her and anyway I needed to cover my tracks. Two birds with one stone right? I think it's ingenious of me to kill you by slitting your wrists. Of course I don't want you to die too soon so it'll just be the one wrist for now. I want you awake for the rest of my carving. Which will it be? Right? Or left?" He shrugged at her unresponsive nature and pressed the knife into Sara's right wrist. He drug it vertically exactly two inches toward her elbow. Sara was no longer distant the pain was too great. She cried out in pain. 

"Get the hell away from her!" Gil Grissom stood in the doorway gun drawn and ready to fire. 

Jarod Morse looked up and Sara just closed her eyes as his voice reached her ears. Grissom watched the blood pour from her wrist. He tightened his grip on his gun. 

"Who are you?" Jarod asked frowning. He was supposed to be alone with her. He already took care of the officer. This man was ruining everything. 

"The man who is going to shoot you if you don't get away from her." 

He cut her wrist again with a quick swipe. This time slanted instead of vertical and not as deep. Sara's cry was proof that it was still painful. 

"Shoot me but I'll warn you I will kill her before the last breath leaves my body." He dropped her arm with an evil smile. "Who is he?" He asked Sara. 

"I said get away from her!" The gun was cocked and ready to go. 

He lifted Sara's shirt revealing her stomach as it rose and fell in short quick breaths. She couldn't move but her eyes fell to the side. Her mind was becoming foggy. The blood from her wrist was flowing freely. Must have hit an artery, she thought. She almost laughed that his plan wasn't going as planned. It looked like she was going to die sooner than he wanted. 

"Earth to my favorite whore." Jarod said. "Who is he?" 

"Grissom." She whispered. 

Grissom looked at her at the mention of his name. She was losing a lot of blood, too much to wait much longer. He grasped the gun harder. "If you don't get the fuck off her, you're a dead man." 

"Looks like I have to kill you now." He slowly started to drag the knife across her stomach leaving a trail of blood as he watched Grissom closely. He looked down to Sara. Suddenly he reared back with all his might. Sara waited for the blow. The blow that would end her life. It was again in slow motion as if it wasn't happening. 

Three shots rang out. Three of them. One after the other. Grissom didn't give Jarod a chance to blink. He knew Sara was in danger and didn't even hesitate. She opened her eyes and saw Jarod Morse fall dead to his side. 

"Sara!" Grissom yelled. He went to her side and pushed Jarod's legs off her body. "Stay calm Sara." 

She knew what was happening even though she didn't realize it until she felt the lightheadedness. She was having a panic attack. She had one before in college, but she never remember it being so debilitating. She was shaking all over and she couldn't catch her breath. 

"Sara don't move. Just breathe. It's okay." He pushed her hair from her face and she began to calm somewhat, until she saw Jarod laying beside her. 

She rolled over and started to crawl away from Jarod. Grissom voice was too faraway and Jarod Morse was too close. Dead or alive, he was too close to her. 

"Sara don't move!" He was concerned about the cut on her abdomen. He didn't know how deep it was but he wasn't going to risk anything. He grabbed her ankles. "Sara stop!" 

She stopped crawling to curl into a tight ball. She was far enough away for now. Her breaths came in a fast rise and fall. With eyes open and glassy eyes she watched the shadows on the floor as he moved to check her pulse. His hands were was warm. She should have never fought with him. She should have gone home like he told her too. None of this would have happened if she wasn't so stubborn. 

"Sara the ambulance is on the way. I need to keep pressure on your wound." He slowly uncurled her. He was relieved that her breathing slowed but that only meant one thing; she was in shock now. She was unable to move by her own will. She just laid there as he lifted her shirt. Her skin was soft but strangely cold. He checked her face again, she was in another place. 

He noticed the cut wasn't as deep as he thought. It was just a scratch. He looked at the blood on the floor. Where is it coming from? She was cradling her arm. Her arm. The blood. He ran to the kitchen for a tea towel. Sara didn't even blink as he applied pressure to the cuts. She was losing blood too quickly. 

"Sara stay with me." 

tbc... 


	2. Thoughts While in the Waiting Room

Author's Notes: I had to laugh at the reviews. Don't ask me why in the world I said it was romance/humor, must be a direct result of the cold medicine I am taking. I guess the humor comes later, I don't know! It's not all angst because well...okay I don't have a freaking clue what I am talking about! lol. I am going to stop now. Sorry for the grammar mistakes but I tend to get over excited and don't have anyone to proof read my crap! Sorry. Anyway this is a little background information on Grissom and Sara's fight before she was attacked. It's an in-between chapter while Grissom waits in the hospital waiting room. 

Chapter 2: Thoughts While in the Waiting Room 

Earlier that day 

"Grissom you are being so unfair!" Sara stood opposite Grissom's desk yelling at the top of her lungs. Her face was red with frustration and anger. She couldn't believe he was acting this way. 

"Don't give me that Sara. You need a break." Grissom hissed back. His face was blank but his eyes were a storm. No one made him angrier than Sara Sidle. 

"Who are you to tell me what I need?!" 

His eyes became slits. "Your superior." The room became quiet as each party caught their breath. 

"I can handle this Grissom." Sara said finally. 

"No Sara you can't. When is the last time you have slept? Or ate for that matter?" 

"That's none of your business." 

"It is when it effects your performance." He pointed to a distant place. "Sara, Warrick had to physically pull you away from the computer!" 

"I broke the case didn't I?!" She yelled back with her arms raised. 

"Was it worth the sacrifice?" 

"Yes!" 

"Go home." Grissom ordered. 

She snickered. He just never gave up. "Not until Brass arrests her." She said defiantly. 

His anger made another appearance as she directly disobeyed him. "Sara would you just listen to me for a change?!" 

"I am listening!" 

"No you're not! You are ignoring me!" 

There was a loud knock at the door that disrupted them. Catherine poked her head into the hurricane of Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom fury. Sara dropped her gaze from Grissom, but he never looked away from her tired form. 

"Hey Grissom?" 

"What?!" Grissom shouted with his eyes still on Sara. 

"Sorry but we have a major lead in our case." She said innocently from the doorway. 

"It can wait." He spat. "I'm busy." 

Sara's head shot up. He wasn't going to let this go, no matter how hard she tried to reason with him. He was actually choosing their fight over work. 

Catherine boldly stepped into the office and closed the door behind her. "Maybe you two should back off for a minute. Just take a break." 

Grissom became very aware of Catherine in his space. "Get out Catherine." 

She put her hands on her hips. "Grissom I don't think yelling at everyone is going to accomplish anything." 

"What is between me and Sara has nothing to do with anyone else." 

"It does when we can hear you two yelling in the hallway." Catherine countered getting angry herself because of the unnecessary way he was treating her. 

Again the office grew quiet until Sara made a move for the file on Grissom's desk. He put a hand on the file to stop her from taking it. "Sara we are not finished." 

"Yes we are." She pulled the file from his grasp with a sharp jerk. "I am taking the robbery on 139 North McCauley after I see her arrested." She turned on her heels. 

"Sara!" He called after her but she completely ignored him and walked out the door. 

"Warrick let's go. I think Brass is bringing in Tabatha Borrs." Warrick glanced into the open office at Grissom then back to Sara. He glanced back at Grissom on last time before running after Sara, who was already down the hallway. 

Catherine looked at Grissom. His body was ridged and his eyes were a dark gray blue. She knew he was bothered by something; that something was Sara. "Are you ready?" She offered into the silence. 

"Yes." He glared passed Catherine to nothingness. "Let's go." 

~ * ~ 

Grissom rode in silence as Catherine drove to a suspect's house. He never felt like this. He was angry with Sara, yet he knew he loved her _because_ he was angry with her. They had been seeing each other for one month and two days. No one knew but them, and it was the best month of Grissom's life. 

One day he called her after a hearing exam and asked to speak with her in person. They ate breakfast at a small diner and he told her. Just like that, he told her. It was so easy. She offered her support and he took it without regret. For the first time since he found out about his hearing, he was somewhat relieved that he had someone to share the burden with. It was nice to know that he would have someone to go to the doctor's office with at the end of the month to discuss surgery. 

Their talks on the phone and at the diner were long and welcoming. It was so natural to talk to each other. Then he took the next step and asked her to dinner. Grissom was never so nervous in his life, but the nervousness eased away when he saw that Sara was nervous too. Right there they agreed to take it slow and managed to keep everything at a nice pace for the both of them. The night was perfect; she looked great as always and he was the most handsome she ever saw him. At dinner there was no awkward pauses or uncomfortable touches. Like their talks at the diner and on the phone, their date was natural. Unfortunately, he was paged back to work and it ended before they finished eating. It was because of interruptions that they haven't even gotten passed the dating stage one month later. 

Now he was worried. She was upset with him. It was difficult to keep his feelings a secret and still working together. As he thought about it, that is where most of the fights started. Ironic really; that's where they connected first. Before they were an item, a fight with Sara would be nothing because it would all work out eventually. But now he couldn't handle having his heart broken again. He couldn't live without Sara now. She was in his life, his entire life, and if she left part of him would be lost to her forever. He pinched his nose under his sunglasses at the thought of losing her. 

"You want to talk about it?" Catherine asked after watching him carefully for the last five minutes. "I know it's bothering you." 

He adjusted his glasses. "No." 

"You know Sara has always been her own person." 

He glared at her. "Do you mean to tell me that you approve of the way she abuses herself for a case?" 

Catherine turned on a secondary road to the suspect's house. "No I do not approve but Sara doesn't see what she does as abuse. She sees it as efficient." 

"She probably hasn't slept or eaten in days Catherine. How efficient can she be?" He hoped she didn't ask how he knew about her sleeping or eating habits. The truth was Grissom didn't know exactly but he knew it wasn't much. She canceled their last date for this case and the dark circles under her eyes were also further proof of what she was doing to herself. She was shutting herself down until the case was solved. No one was allowed in, not even him. 

Catherine watched Grissom as long as the driving would permit. She could see that he was deep in thought again. This was really bothering him more than usual. "Grissom are you okay?" 

He looked over to her. "I'll be fine." 

Catherine pulled into suspect's driveway, signaling the end of their conversation. They were collecting their kits in silence when Brass pulled up behind them. "Not going to start the party without me were you?" He joked dryly getting out of his car. 

"No Jim." Catherine smiled. "Just getting ready. You got the warrant?" 

The warrant materialized from his pocket. "Right here." 

"Did you arrest the woman from Sara's case?" Grissom asked quickly. He had to know if her punishment was worth it. 

A sly smile spread across Brass's face. "Warrick and Sara pinned her to the wall." 

"Did Sara go home?" He asked hopefully. 

"No. Warrick paired up with Nick and she broke off solo for that robbery on North McCauley." 

"Thanks Jim." Grissom sighed. She went anyway. She needed rest and she was going to pull a double. Catherine started to walk to the house, Grissom and Jim followed. 

"Hey Grissom?" Brass asked as they fell behind from Catherine's wondering ears. 

"Yes?" 

"She has an officer with her." He said with a smile. 

Grissom wanted to smile back. At least Sara was safe. 

~ * ~ 

"I am taking this back to the lab for Greg. With any luck we can get home early." Catherine called over to Grissom. "You coming?" 

"No I want to snoop around." He was bent over a muddy shoe print. 

"Fine. I'll leave the Tahoe with you and catch a ride with Brass." 

"Okay." He said. His eyes fell back to the shoe print on the sidewalk. He took several pictures of it then collected a sample of the mud. He didn't find anything else that caught his attention so he called it a day himself. He collected his stuff and climbed in the Tahoe. The other officer that was there waved good-bye as Grissom pulled out. 

Grissom drove in silence not even bothering to turn on the radio. He looked at his watch. Sara might still be at her scene. If she was, he could talk to her without interruptions and wandering eyes. He made the turn to North McCauley. If he could just reason with her, then maybe he can get her to come with him. 

tbc... 


	3. Finally

Chapter 3: Finally 

"How is she?" Catherine ran into the hospital waiting room with Lindsay in tow. "God tell me she is okay." 

Grissom squinted into the bright fluorescent light. "I don't know." The images of Sara unconscious and with pale skin drifted back. He covered her with his coat but she wouldn't stop shivering. When the ambulance finally arrived, Sara was loaded in less than a minute. He rode the whole way squeezing Sara's unresponsive hand. More pressure and bandages were applied to her wrist to stop the bleeding but it all kept soaking through. It was like a plague that consumed entire populations within minutes. Grissom shook away the dreadful thought that Sara might not make it through this. He thought he was going to lose her before his chance to finally be with her arrived. 

Catherine breathed a sigh of relief and hugged Lindsay, which brought Grissom back to reality. "What happened?! This is crap Grissom, first Holly, then me, and now Sara. Where was the officer that was supposed to be with her?" 

"Dead. He was stabbed six times." He remembered finding his bloodied body behind the patrol car when he arrived at the crime scene. Then the screams came from the house. His heart stopped in that one moment. He un-holstered his gun and the safety came off. He found her with all that blood flowing from her lower wrist and that asshole bent over her. He cut her a second time on the wrist in anger. Then there came the cut across her stomach. There was so much blood. Grissom's hands began to shake. Someone hurt Sara; his Sara. That man was going to kill her and still may succeed in doing just that. 

Catherine noticed the shaking. "Lindsay find a magazine while I talk to Uncle Gil." 

The little girl didn't say anything and moved off to the magazines. "Gil who did this?" 

He swallowed and calmed his nerves. "I checked in and Ecklie is handling the scene. Brass ID the guy as Jarod Morse. He was an old case of Sara's from San Francisco. He just got it in his head to break parole and come after her." He looked at Lindsay then at Catherine. 

Catherine sat down, her legs unable to hold her up anymore. "It was planned." 

"Yes." The shock was gone from his voice. Grissom accepted that some people were just evil. 

"Where are the others?" Catherine asked. 

"Nick and Warrick are on their way." He whispered. 

She touched his hand. "How are you?" 

"I'll be okay, if she is okay." 

She didn't expect him to say something like that, but she knew his feelings ran deeper for Sara than those he held for the others. They shared a past and an unfounded trust. It was to be expected that he feel this way. Catherine rubbed his hand. "Have they let you into see her?" 

"The doctor is supposed to come and brief us on her condition." 

Catherine took her hand away to cradle her face. "Jesus. Her condition? She has a condition. Gil, I can't let Lindsay see her. She looks up to Sara. I wouldn't have brought her but I was in too big of a hurry to drop her off at the sitter's." 

"I know." Twenty minutes of uneasy silence passed between them as their thoughts wandered to Sara lying in a hospital bed or lying dead in surgery. 

"Warrick!" Lindsay ran to his arms as he scooped her up. 

He smiled widely to her. "Hey Linds!" 

She girl returned the smile but it quickly faded. "Sara's hurt." 

He put her down next to Catherine. "I know but she'll be okay. I promise; and I never break a promise." 

Nick was flushed red from the rush to get to the hospital. "We went by the crime scene. Ecklie is handling it." 

Grissom nodded. "I know." 

"Any word?" Warrick asked fully concerned about Sara. When they finished up their last case, Sara tore off and said she needed to be alone. He felt somewhat responsible for letting her go alone. 

"No." 

Just then the doctor walked up with a clipboard in hand. "Gil Grissom?" 

He stood up and offered a hand. This may be it. If she is gone, then he would quit living. It was all that simple. 

The doctor shook his hand. "I am Dr. Walker and Sara is just fine." Grissom sat down again as his heart gave way to relief. He sighed heavily as the doctor continued. "She sustained some bruised ribs, a dislocated shoulder, and a nasty concussion to accompany the other bumps and minor bruises. The cuts were our biggest worry. He cut her wrist pretty deep and nicked a main artery, when she was brought in she lost a lot of blood. But we gave her a transfusion and have them stitched and bandaged so she should be fine. The one she got on her stomach was just a scratch. She should heal fairly quickly with no scarring." 

They all breathed a little easier. "How long are you going to keep her here?" Grissom asked. He wanted Sara to be with him, not in some hospital. 

"Right now I am thinking about three days. It should be sufficient." 

"When can we see her?" Catherine asked eagerly holding onto Lindsay's hand. 

Dr. Walker searched their caring eyes. "She asked to see only Mr. Grissom." Everyone looked at Grissom waiting for him to say something. 

He swallowed hard. "I'll try to get her to see you all." 

"That's okay if she don't want to see us Gris." Nick said quickly. "She asked for you. We're going home. Tell her we'll see her tomorrow." 

He smiled and let Dr. Walker ushered him to Sara's room. It was dimly lit and the only sound was a constant beep from a monitor. Sara opened her eyes at the sound of the door to see Grissom standing in the doorway. "Hey." Her words were slow and so were her actions. The loss of blood was doing a real number on her system. 

Grissom smiled. She was okay. "Hey." 

"I'll leave you two alone." Dr. Walker closed the door and left them in peace. 

He pulled up a chair from the corner. "How do you feel?" 

"Horrible." 

"Honesty is the best policy." He chimed. 

Sara looked to the door. "Do they suspect anything?" 

"No." 

She swallowed hard. "I couldn't let them see me without seeing you first. They would have read me like a book." A slow smile spread across her face when she realized he was deep in thought and not even paying attention. He always got a particular look when he was thinking. Warrick called it that Grissom look. It was so nice to see him again. She knew he was there at the house but it didn't seem real for her. He was real now. She touched his hand that rested on her bed. He jumped. 

"Promise you'll never do that again." He said suddenly looking into her eyes. 

She raised an eyebrow which seemed to take all her energy. "What?" 

"Don't ever leave me Sara." She smiled again at his childish behavior. "I am serious Sara. I never want to see you in pain again. Promise me." 

"I promise that I'll try." 

"Good enough." He kissed her hand. It sent electricity through his lips and through her body. It was amazing what they did to each other. "Get some sleep. I'll see you when you wake up." 

"Okay." She mumbled and slowly drifted to sleep. 

Grissom stayed awake until she fell asleep, and then soon followed her. The doctor woke him up three hours later. "Mr. Grissom." 

His eyes flew open. "What's wrong?" 

"Nothing but visiting time is over. You need to go home and get your rest." 

Grissom looked over to Sara's sleeping form. "Will she be...?" 

"She'll be fine. Visiting time is nine to one tomorrow. You can come back then." 

He hated to leave her but rules were rules. He knew she was okay and that had to be enough for now. He slowly rose and placed the chair back in the corner. He quickly kissed her forehead then left her to rest. 

"Mr. Grissom you were listed as her guardian if she was in an accident. Do you know where her parents are?" 

"In California." 

"I don't think I should call them because her condition isn't as serious as it could have been but they should know." 

"I'll leave that to Sara." Grissom said quickly. He really didn't know much about Sara's relationship to her parents. He wasn't about to step on any toes. Besides it would seem less dramatic if Sara told them she was fine, rather than another person. 

"Okay. I trust you. Get some rest." Dr. Walker smiled. 

"What are the visiting hours again?" 

"Nine to one and three to seven." 

Grissom shook his hand. "Thank you." 

"My pleasure." 

tbc... 


	4. Visiting

Author's Notes: Thanks for the reviews everyone! I love to read them and I am glad you are enjoying my first stab at romance. Send more please! 

Chapter 4: Visiting 

Grissom's next visit to Sara was one which she was barely awake. He asked about calling her parents but Sara thought it wise to leave them out of the loop until she was released. She didn't want to worry them, which they had a tendency to do. After their brief conversation Sara slept for most of the day and the next. He came back with the gang but she didn't even move. Grissom knew that this had to be the first time Sara got her rest since the start of her last case. He wasn't disappointed that he couldn't speak to her, because she needed her rest to heal. The cuts on her wrist bled occasionally and the nurse had to change bandages but other than that she was doing fine. She was on her road to recovery and it looked like she would be released by the next day. 

The second time the whole gang showed up Sara was awake and willing to see them. They all needed to speak to her. Her silent sleeping figure was too eerie. It was like she may never wake up. 

"Hey guys." She said happily as everyone filed into the small room. 

"Well look who finally decided to wake up." Nick kissed her on the cheek. "How ya feel'?" 

"Better now that you're here." 

"I am touched." 

"Don't be, it's the medication talking." Everyone shared a good laugh. They were all pleased to see Sara back to her sarcastic self. 

Warrick came to stand by the bed. "How's the food in this joint?" 

"I think they figured if they give pain medication before lunch and dinner then more patients will eat. I wouldn't touch this junk without under the influence of drugs." 

"Can't wait to go home Sara?" Catherine asked lightly and was fully aware of the answer. Sara's eye roll was proof of that. 

Grissom remained quiet while everyone visited with Sara. He didn't want to attract attention and he didn't mind. This was the best he had seen her. She was in a light mood considering the circumstances. He knew that she was affected by Jarod Morse's attack. A thing like this would affect anyone in a negative way. Sara said her good-byes to everyone including Grissom. He agreed that he would be back after shift to sit with her before the doctor threw him out again. 

Sara spent most of the day flipping through the cable channels. She really felt good enough to go home today but the doctor insisted that she stay one more day. There were one hundred channels yet there was nothing on. That's why Sara never watched television. The nurses came and went to check on her but they didn't talk, so Sara was left mostly to her thoughts. 

Neither one mentioned the fight they had. It was their first major fight as a couple and it all stemmed from his overprotection of her. Both parties were equally sorry but nothing was said. Grissom seemed okay now but she could still see he was, not angry with her, but unsettled. She was the same way. She wanted to apologize for being stubborn and closed off, but never did. 

She didn't want to admit it but Sara was greatly affected by her attack by Jarod Morse. She was more cautious towards people, even Grissom. She didn't want to push him out but she didn't feel right yet. She was afraid that another case would be her last. Going back to work was going to be harder than she thought. But Sara was strong and she refused to let Jarod Morse ruin everything she loved. Besides as long as she had Grissom she was going to be okay. Things would get better. They always did. 

Just as the peaceful thought entered her head, Conrad Ecklie walked into her hospital room. "How are you Miss Sidle?" 

She raised an eyebrow. "Fine I guess." 

Ecklie jumped right to the point. "Good. I think you know why I am here." 

"Am I in some kind of trouble?" Sara straightened herself up which hurt her side tremendously but she didn't let Ecklie know that. "Because I assure you that if I could I would erase it." 

He cocked his head to the side. "Did you do something wrong to want to erase it?" 

Sara realized what he was asking. "No I just don't prefer getting the crap beat out of me." 

He detected the animosity in her voice. "Sorry I don't mean to upset you." 

"Yeah well it wasn't exactly the best day of my life." She looked away. This was bothering her more than she thought. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. 

"Well I want you to walk me through what happened so we can put this behind us." He said interrupting her thoughts. 

"Fine." She knew it was procedure and the sooner she got it over with, the sooner he could leave her alone. She turned the television off. 

Ecklie pulled up the chair Grissom sat in. He was already skating on thin ice by taking Grissom's chair. "Just tell me what happened." He produced a pen and paper and patiently waited for her to speak. 

Sara explained what happened as best she could. It all went very fast despite how slow it seemed. Ecklie was scratching down several notes on his paper as she told her version of what happened. 

"That's it. Grissom showed up and shot him three times." She finished. 

He flipped back to his first page to ask his questions. It all seemed believable and didn't see any real complications but he had to work this case like any other, with a skeptical eye. "Did he warn Jarod Morse that he would shoot if he did not back away?" 

Sara inhaled deeply. The questioning was taking its toll on her more so than she thought it would. "Yes. Four times I think, maybe more." 

"Was your wrist bleeding at the time he walked in?" 

"Yes." 

"Why didn't he fire then? Why did it take four times of warning to shoot Jarod Morse?" 

"You know as a CSI we are trained to not get trigger happy. He did the right thing by waiting." 

"But you were bleeding." He said plainly. 

"And Jarod had a knife trained on my body. I don't believe for one second that Grissom wanted to risk my life by panicking." Anger started to take hold on her. Maybe it was the sleepiness, but she wasn't happy either way. 

"You were fully aware what was going on? You were losing a lot of blood, are you sure?" 

"My mind was foggy but yes I was aware that I had an old case that came back to kill me. And I was fully aware that Grissom was there to save me." Her words were becoming harsher. She was growing tired of Ecklie's games. It was a clean case. Old case file attacks CSI at crime scene; other CSI finds her just in time to save her life. It was all that simple. 

"Do you remember Jarod Morse's case file?" 

"After he refreshed my memory." 

He licked his lips and Sara cringed. "So initially you didn't recognize him?" 

"No I thought he was the burglar for the case I was working." 

"Any reason why he came after you?" 

What the heck kind of question was that?! "I didn't actually ask him between blows, but I think it had something to do with revenge for locking him up." 

He smiled at her but realized she wasn't joking. He quickly moved on without commenting on her statement. "Mr. Grissom just showed up, warned Morse at least four times, and then fired. How many shots?" 

"I already told you that it was three." Sara knew what Ecklie was doing. He was trying to find holes in her version of the story. She didn't know why but he was making this harder than need be. She wondered if she was this big of a pain with Warrick. She hoped not. She really grew to love the guy. 

He jotted something down then rose from his seat; Grissom's seat. "I think we are done." Sara grasped the remote and turned the television back on without a word. "Miss Sidle I hope your wrist feels better." 

"Me too." 

Ecklie noticed the sadness in her voice. The sooner he got this over he could leave it all behind. He exited without another word. It shouldn't have happened in the first place. 

~ * ~ 

Grissom slipped into Sara's room as quietly as possible. Visiting hours were over and he got one of the nurses to sneak him in for a couple hours. The nurse saw the connection he had with Sara and could not deny him. It had something to do with his eyes. 

Sara was half asleep when he came in. The movement startled her but once she saw it was Grissom she had to smile. "I've been waiting for you." 

"You shouldn't have. You need your rest." 

"Ah I'm not tired." She waved a hand to dismiss the obvious. Grissom smiled at her. She would deny that she was tired after a decathlon. Then his smile disappeared, she didn't know when to stop. It was like she didn't have brakes. He didn't want to talk about her work habits just yet because he was happy to have her safe. It did bother him though. It bothered him before they became a couple. He was really afraid of burnout but Sara said she was fine. She always said she was fine. 

"What's wrong?" She asked watching his attitude change. 

He pulled up his chair. "Nothing." He didn't want to talk about it, not now anyway. 

"Anything happen today with your case?" She asked. 

"No. Catherine and I hit a road block. What did you do today? Did you watch anything good on TV?" 

"Nope. I did get a visitor today though." 

He perked up. "Really? Who?" 

"Ecklie." 

Grissom raised an eyebrow. "Wastes no time." 

"I know." 

"What did he want?" 

"He needed a statement about what happened." 

Grissom looked at her. "He could have waited until you were released. It's only one more day." 

"I guess he wanted to get it done." She said with a shrug. 

"He should have considered your health and state of mind. What if you weren't ready to relive the attack?" 

She was surprised he was getting so defensive about it. She wasn't used to Grissom's protective nature or his affection. What she didn't know was that it was new to him too. "It's okay Grissom; no big deal." She said trying to comfort him. 

"If you say so Sara." He rubbed her knuckles. "How do you feel?" 

"Much better. I want to go home." 

"I know. Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow at nine?" 

"That would be great." Sara let out a big yawn and rolled over to her side to face him. "Tell me about your bugs." 

He raised an eyebrow. "You should be sleeping not learning." 

"I plan to sleep." 

He laughed. "So bugs are boring? The truth finally comes out." 

"They just have that effect on me, but the medication helps." 

Grissom frowned at her, but quickly jumped into the origin of naming beetles to please her. He would do anything to please her. It must have worked because Sara was asleep in five minutes. 

tbc... 


	5. Friendly Advice From an Unlikely Source

Author's Notes: This is when the game begins! I know I sound like a broken record but thank you for reviews and please keep writing them! Enjoy!

Chapter 5: Friendly Advice From an Unlikely Source

Grissom picked Sara up at nine o'clock on the dot. After making her appointments to see another doctor for checkups he dropped her off at home. She got settled and he went to work. Not a word was said. Sara wasn't ready to talk about her attack and Grissom wasn't sure how to approach her. They have only been dating, nothing serious, so he didn't feel like she owed him anything. Sara called her parents to let them know what happened. For one hour she was scolded for not calling sooner then for twenty minutes she was drowned in 'I love you'. She was going to lay down for awhile when she received a call from Ecklie to come in shortly to answer some more questions. She thought she answered enough of his questions in the hospital. After all she was ready to put this behind her. The sooner it was out of her mind she could go back to the way things were. That was her plan anyway.

Sara walked down the cold hallway to Ecklie's office. She lightly knocked on his office door. There was a mumbled 'come in' and Sara pushed through the door.

The office was boring. That was the only way to describe it. Grissom's office was full of specimens, forensic books, more bugs, and various jars of only God knows what. Ecklie's office was paper. It was just paper, stacks of them everywhere. It was in some type of order but it was too cluttered for Sara's liking. Ecklie stood up and held out a hand finally separating him from the paperwork. "Miss Sidle, how are you?"

"I've been better." She said honestly taking his hand. 'Strange,' she thought. 'His hands are cold. Grissom's hands are warm.'

"I know you already briefed me on the attack but I have some other questions."

"Okay."

"Please have a seat." He motioned to a chair in front of his desk. Sara slowly sat down. Even the chair was boring and not to mention hard as a brick. Not like Grissom's chair that was comfy enough to sit for hours in and really talk. "I hope I didn't interrupt your day off."

"No."

He took note of her tone. Ecklie knew that the pleasantries were wasted on Sara. He tried that at the hospital. He put on his game face and started. "There was a heated argument between you and Grissom before you left to go solo on the robbery. Is that right?"

"Yes."

"Was your judgment impaired?"

"Excuse me?" She was surprised by his forwardness.

"You were pulling a double, not to mention you were working overtime on the last case. Then Mr. Grissom and you were fighting. Was your judgment impaired? It's a fair question Miss Sidle."

She suddenly started to get angry. "We weren't fighting. We were having a conversation."

"Is it normal to punctuate your sentences with exclamation points?" He smiled but it wasn't returned.

"What are you getting at?"

He leaned forward and put his elbows on his desk. "Warrick Brown told me that you were quite upset after you left Mr. Grissom's office. He also mentioned that you wanted to be alone and were going to take the burglary case solo. Is that true?"

"Yes but..."

"But what?" He cut her off.

"But..."

Ecklie drew in a sharp breath. "Mr. Grissom brought you here, to Las Vegas, to investigate Warrick Brown. He is reported to have said that he trusted you."

"Yes." She said carefully. She didn't know where this was going. He was what Sara called 'question jumping'. It was a technique for interrogating suspects. You jump quickly from one short question to another to rattle the suspect's cage and find holes in their story. That is exactly what Sara felt like; a suspect.

"If he trusted you why did he ignore your reports and recommendations to dismiss Warrick Brown?"

"He felt that Warrick needed a second chance."

"Do you think he needed a second chance?"

Sara rubbed the painful spot on her temples. "My head hurts, so just get to what you really want to know."

"Fair enough. Do you think Grissom did the right thing by reinstating Warrick Brown?"

"At the time no, but..."

"And now?"

"Yes. I understand why he did it."

"Why did Grissom come to see you?"

Another jump. "I don't know."

"Has he ever checked on you before?"

"I usually work with someone else so there is no need."

"Why is that? You are very capable of working solo."

Another jump. "I don't know."

"Miss Sidle it seems to me that you do not know a lot of things."

"It seems to me Mr. Ecklie that you do not know what you're talking about." The room grew painstakingly quiet before Ecklie spoke.

"Was your judgment impaired by any reason when you were attacked?" He hissed.

Another jump this time asking an earlier question. Sara stayed calm and thought back. Her mind wasn't preoccupied. Was it? It's all a blur but she was sure she was focused on the case and nothing else. Yes she was sure. She was dusting the banister and thinking about printing the back door. Positive. "No." She finally replied.

"I have all I need for now. You can go home." He stood up. "Get some rest. I'll call if I need you again."

She slowly made her way to the door and out to her car. There was something very wrong with that rushed interview. She couldn't wait until she could see Grissom after shift to talk to him. He was always the rock in her life. He could calm her down.

~ * ~

"Gil I need to talk to you." Conrad Ecklie stood at the doorway to the lab where Grissom was bent over a microscope.

"About?" He said not taking his eyes off the slide.

"Sara Sidle's case. I have a few questions for you."

"I am very busy." He called back. Whatever Ecklie had to say Brass had already told him. Grissom was still angry that Ecklie questioned Sara while she was still in the hospital. He wasn't about to forget that.

"It will have to wait." Ecklie hissed.

"I gave Brass my statement."

"Fully aware. I have it right here, but its procedure to ask my questions if I have them."

"Fine." Grissom removed his glasses. "What?"

"In my office." Ecklie left Grissom to follow to the office. Grissom just watched with eyebrow raised as Ecklie disappeared from sight. Why can't he just question him here? Curiosity got the better of him and he followed. Grissom had been in Ecklie's office before and felt suffocated. All the paper and files were daunting. Ecklie rounded his desk and motioned for Grissom to sit down.

"What's this really about?" Grissom asked still standing.

Ecklie wasn't surprised that Grissom went straight to the point. "Sara Sidle. I need to know why you decided to go out there."

"To check on her." He answered flatly.

He busied himself with tidying up his desk. "She didn't have her phone on?"

"I didn't try the phone."

Ecklie raised his head almost as if he were shocked. "Why?"

"I was in the neighborhood."

"Weren't you working a case with Catherine?"

"Yes. She went back to the lab with Brass and I was en route to follow after I finished."

"But you drove to see Miss Sidle, not to the lab."

Grissom's anger was rising. "She was working solo on a robbery. I wanted to make sure she was okay."

"And a call wasn't enough?"

"There is a lot you cannot detect by a phone call. She could have been held hostage and unable to tell me if something was wrong. Attacks on CSI's have happened before."

"And your argument with her earlier that day did not affect anything?"

His eyes flashed with anger. "That argument was between me and Sara."

"That argument was about what exactly?"  
"Where are you going with this Conrad?"

"Answer the question Gil. It's in your best interest if I hear it from you."

Grissom swallowed hard. He didn't want to get Sara in trouble so he tried to be vague. "It was about her work habits."

"Yes. I understand she was working overtime on her last case. I asked around and it's not unusual for Miss Sidle to get involved in a case. Sometimes ignoring sleep and food. Is that how you would characterize her?"

"Sara is sometimes so anxious to catch the bad guys that she forgets to take care of herself." He worded it carefully. "She is one of the best we got."

"When exactly was the last time she slept?"

"I don't know." He was starting to question jump; classic. Grissom wanted to shake his head in dismay. He couldn't believe Ecklie was trying this on him. He wondered if it was involuntary but didn't like it. He felt like a suspect.

"Well I do. It took three days to complete that case and Sara got a total of nine hours of sleep total. Why didn't you pull her?"

Grissom was confused. He thought these questions were an attack on Sara, now it was on him. Ecklie was up to something. "I tried to send her home."

"But she didn't listen and you let her go solo. Are you not the supervisor Gil? Your command should override hers."

"Sara can be stubborn."

Ecklie swiveled in his chair. "So I have also heard. All the yelling you did and it didn't help?"

"What?"

"The yelling. Sara was very upset with you; I believe her judgment was clouded by the fight and her exhaustion."

"It wasn't a fight Conrad and don't tell me how to treat my CSI's." Grissom snapped.

"It seems you need help Gil. Shouting at your subordinates is not the proper way to handle anything. And one thing is for sure you don't know what's best for them."

Grissom was frustrated at why this was going any further. If Sara was cleared, why was Ecklie badgering him? "What is this really about?"

Ecklie stood up from his seated position. "You're not cut out for this job. First you reinstate Warrick Brown. Because of that screw up, Catherine was attacked at a scene because he wasn't with her. You think he would learn the consequences after Holly. Then Nick almost gets shot because you left him at a scene, granted you came back but what if you didn't? And now Sidle and her work habits. If you would have pulled her, Officer Tally might still be alive. You got there in time again for Sidle but this time not for Tally. She was exhausted and distracted by you Gil. Now she has a deep cut on her wrist and an officer is dead. You could have killed her, your own team member. You don't know how to lead a group. You need to make decisions for the people of Las Vegas to protect them from your CSI's instead of the other way around."

Grissom was beyond rational thinking. Ecklie was twisting every situation to blame him. It was bad enough that the thought did enter Grissom's head that he might be responsible. Sara could really be dead because of him. Grissom quickly rushed to the front of his desk and Ecklie jumped back. He would have smiled at Ecklie's sudden fear of him, but he was too pissed. "Back off Ecklie."

"You know what Gil. I don't have a beef with you. I could give a shit less how you play Russian Roulette with your career politically, but when CSI's start getting hurt because of you it pisses me off. Sara Sidle, Catherine Willows, Holly Gribbs, Nick Stokes all suffered the consequences of your poor judgment. What the hell are you doing over there?"

"Are you out to get me or something?"

"No. I don't like you, that is true but it has nothing to do with us. It has to do with your ability to lead. I am not the only one that thinks so Gil. If anyone, it's been me that has been trying to save your ass. Your work is remarkable and you are a damn good CSI. You are good for this crime lab but I don't think that you have what it takes to be a supervisor." He paused. "Gil if this case sends up flags and they bring in Preston McFadden, he will persecute you."

"So what is this, a head's up?" Grissom shot back.

"I will file my report that Sidle was preoccupied but there is nothing that could have been done to save Tally's life. I will mention that she was brutally attacked and it was very fortunate that you show up when you did. That's what is in my report. If Preston is called in, I hope you have better answers than 'I don't know' and 'I was just in the neighborhood'."

"Do you expect a thank you?"

"No. I expect you to start taking a hard look at how you handle things."

There was a knock on the door. "Sorry to interrupt but Mrs. Willows needs you Mr. Grissom. It is something about your case."

Grissom turned. "Thank you Judy." He followed her out without another word to Ecklie, as a sharp ache in his temples began to throb.

tbc...


	6. Eruption

Author's Notes: Two chapters today because of the way this one ends. You'll know what I mean when you read it. Thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming. They really do help a lot. 

Chapter 6: Eruption 

Grissom absently watched Catherine scroll through the shoe prints in the database. With any luck the muddy shoeprint he found earlier would be in the database and the case would get a major pick-me-up. His eyes were on the screen but his mind was on Ecklie. How did it ever get this far? His cell phone rang pulling him away from the computer screen and his thoughts. "Grissom." 

"Hey it's me." Sara said somewhat distracted. 

Grissom didn't notice; he was too busy savoring her voice. He hadn't spoken to her all day. After Ecklie's attack on his job capability he needed a friendly voice to rely on. "Brass." 

Sara forced a laugh. "You could have picked someone else. I hardly see myself as Brass." 

He wanted to laugh with her. She was most definitely better looking than Brass, but he didn't laugh because Catherine was looking at him. He kept his tone calm. "Yeah I know. Catherine's right here." 

"Don't blow our cover Gris." She teased in a secretive tone. "Can't have Catherine finding out." 

"Thanks for the update. I'll be by your office later." 

Her tone became serious. "Good because we need to talk. I think we are in trouble." 

His heart stopped and he blinked. What happened? She said 'we' are in trouble. 

"Grissom? You still there?" Sara asked. 

"Thanks again Brass." He said finally. 

"What's wrong?" She was getting worried. He could hear it in her voice. 

"Listen I have to go. We are running those prints now." 

She sighed. "Okay. See you when you get done." 

Grissom waited for her hang up before closing the phone. He wanted so bad to talk longer but he was afraid Catherine might catch on. Conversations with Brass were never long. He needed to see her now. Something happened. "Brass didn't get anything yet." He said finally. 

Catherine eyed him suspiciously. "What did we ask him to check?" 

He ignored her. "Call me when you get the prints. I have to check something out." He rushed from the room. 

"Right." Catherine called after him. It wasn't odd that Grissom run with an idea but that was too strange for her liking. 

~ * ~ 

There was a knock at Sara's apartment door. She struggled to get up from her laying position on the couch. She was trying to read but her thoughts were with Grissom. She knew him too well to know that everything was okay. The first thing that entered her mind was that he was having his hearing spells again. They subsided for the past ten days but he explained to her that they come and go without warning. If he was having trouble it was going to be hard to tell him about Ecklie. She didn't want to add to his discomfort. She peeked through the peephole and a smile spread across her face. 

"Hey." He said when she opened the door. 

"Come on in." She smiled. "That was quick." 

"I'm on call." 

"Grissom you are always on call." She joked. 

He ignored her light attitude even though it was better than her quiet demeanor that she had earlier. "What did you mean on the phone?" 

She sighed. "Ecklie called me in for more questioning. It wasn't about the attack, it was about you. Do you think he knows about us?" 

He rubbed his temples somewhat relieved it wasn't something major. "No. He questioned me too and it's not about us. It's about me." 

"What?" She moved over to him pulling his hands away from his face but not letting his hands go. 

"He blames me for what happened to you and officer Tally. I can't say he is just fishing. I shouldn't have let you go." 

"What? Grissom there is no way you can blame yourself for that psycho attacking me and killing Tally." She said reassuringly. 

He turned away from her. "It's not that simple. He assured me that he wasn't going to file anything formal, but he did mention a possible inquiry of my supervisor abilities." 

"Can he do that?" 

"He isn't doing it. A Preston McFadden would be the one conducting the investigation. They have a lot of ammo and they have the right to use it." He removed his glasses as the stress began to take hold. It was getting far worse a lot faster than he expected. He looked at Sara. She seemed tired, and then he remembered what Ecklie told him. "Nine hours Sara? Jesus how is that possible?" 

Her brows knitted in confusion. "What are you talking about?" 

"He said that you only got nine hours of sleep over three days because of that case. Why would you go that long without sleep?!" He didn't realize his voice was rising until she yelled back. 

"Wait. You're mad at me?!" She threw her hands in the air. She didn't even know how Ecklie found out how many hours she got. It sounded accurate though. She only caught an hour here and there, but that wasn't what was making her angry. 

All the frustration of the day and the situation came out. "Sara you were too exhausted to realize Jarod was in the house!" 

"So it is my fault now?!"  
His eyes widened in fear. "No! That's not what I am saying. I should have known. I should have stopped you. I should have slowed you down. It's my fault." 

Sara crossed her arms across her chest. "I told you it wasn't your fault. No one blames you but I don't think yelling at me is fair." She turned away from him to calm herself but she was too angry to stop. She spun around to face him again. "Did you know that I thought something was wrong when you didn't answer me? I thought it had to do with your hearing. God do you know how bad you scared me?!" 

"There is something wrong or haven't you been listening again!" His pulse was up there now. He calmed his breathing and started in a low tone. "Why are you so hard on yourself? It's just a case Sara. You're going to get sick." 

"Grissom if this is your way of showing you care, it's not working." 

He erupted. "You can't keep doing this. It's abuse Sara!" 

"Abuse?! Yeah I wanted to get my ass kicked. I wanted to have my wrist cut. Bleeding to death was always so appealing!" 

"Don't say that!" 

She held her ground. "I can't believe this!" She shook her head. "If your job means that much, we shouldn't be seeing each other to begin with." 

His pulse was now at 120. "I hate it when you put words into my mouth! You know damn well Sara that's not why I am here. I didn't rush over here because I was worried about me. This is about you! It's always been about YOU!" It was true. He was afraid if an investigation was put forth then her work habits would be put in the spotlight. She could lose more than a position; she could lose her job in Vegas. If she left him for San Francisco he would just... 

"Then why are you so worried? I am fine!" 

"You are not fine! Getting nine hours of sleep over three days is not fine. Did you even eat?" 

"Yes I ate." She shot back. 

"Thank God." His hands found their way to his temples again. He could no longer ignore the blood rushing through his body. His cell phone rang breaking the next wave of harsh words. He looked down at his belt. "It's Catherine. She probably has something." He said knowingly without answering it. It continued to ring. He didn't want to leave Sara this way. He recalled the last time they left this unresolved. 

"Aren't you going to answer it?" Sara asked coldly. 

"She can wait." 

"Grissom answer the phone or I will." 

He still saw the fury in her eyes. He was mad too, that he could not deny. She wanted him to go, he wanted to go. He didn't like to fight and it seemed that's all they were doing. He unclipped his phone and put it to his ear. "Yeah Cath. Sorry I was busy. Good, I'll meet you and Brass there. Okay." He hung up and looked over to Sara. It was quiet. "I have tomorrow off." 

"I know." 

"I have some paperwork to finish." 

"I have a doctor's appointment." 

"Okay." 

"Okay." 

That was it. The shortest conversation that passed between them since they started dating. He went to work and she went to her bedroom with a loud slam of the door. This was proving to be harder than either one thought. 

tbc... 


	7. Fighting & Loving

Chapter 7: Fighting & Loving 

Grissom found himself staring at his paperwork rather than doing it. He looked at his watch quickly. Sara was on her way to the doctor's right now. She was alone. He didn't want to be here, he wanted to be with her. It didn't make sense that they were apart. He was off and his paperwork could wait. She was on sick leave and going for a checkup. Yet he was too stubborn to get up and go. The way he understood their last conversation, Sara didn't want him to go with her. What he didn't know was that Sara was thinking just the opposite. She thought that he wanted to do paperwork rather than be with her. Miscommunication seemed to be getting the best of them and so was this entire situation. Instead of talking about what happened, they closed each other off and ignored it. 

Billy the Bass started to sing and Grissom snapped back to reality. "Hey boss." Nick said smiling. "I thought the batteries were dead on Billy." 

"I replaced them." 

"Great." Nick said sarcastically. "Don't you have today off?" 

"Yeah, I was just trying to get some paperwork done." 

Nick pointed to the stack of papers on his desk. "How hard are you trying?" 

Grissom removed his glasses. "Not very hard. What can I do for you Nick?" 

"Nothing, I just saw you in here and thought you might need a human to break the monotony." 

"Thanks Nicky. It's nice to see a human once in a while." 

He knew for a fact that if Sara was here she would be with Grissom talking about a case. He knew that Grissom relied on their banter as an outlet. With Sara on sick leave, he saw the immediate change in behavior. It was that and the eruptive fight before the attack between Sara and Grissom that had everyone a little worried that things were wrong. Nick hoped to serve as an outlet until Sara got back or they made up. Everyone needed a little human contact; even Gil Grissom. "Bugs are sad company compared to Sara." Nick said knowingly. 

While Nick was just being friendly, Grissom went into a panic. He thought Nick knew about his relationship with Sara. The last thing they needed was for everyone to find out about his relationship with Sara. Ecklie wouldn't ignore that and neither would Mobley. "What did you say?" He said carefully trying to act natural. 

"Sara. I said that she is much better company than your bugs." Nick restated. 

"Why would you say that?" 

He chuckled. "Because it's true." 

Grissom changed the subject to get Nick off track before he gave away everything. "Have you spoken to her?" 

"Briefly. I wanted to take her to dinner tonight but she said she had plans to rest." 

"Oh." He tried to play dumb. "How is your case going?" 

"Good. Warrick is with Greg getting the lab results." He came to stand closer to the desk. Nick saw what was bothering Grissom and decided that directness was the best policy. "Grissom I know. We all do." 

What? How was it possible? The fighting with Sara he thought would deflect attention, not draw it. How long have they known? Were they okay with it? Grissom's head was spinning. How soon until Mobley called in McFadden? 

Nick spoke again. "We want you to know that it's wrong. Whoever that McFadden guy is he has nothing on you. We are behind you one hundred and ten percent. All of us." 

"McFadden?" He said confused then it dawned on him. Relief washed over him but it didn't last long. Nick was looking at him like he was crazy. He tried to recover. "How did you find out?" 

"Judy told Catherine what she overheard. We put the rest together." 

"Well Nick my job security is nothing new." He leaned forward on his desk. "Do you think I am a good supervisor?" 

He smiled. "The best and it wasn't your fault." 

Some of the edge seemed to ebb away. "Thanks. Hey when you talked to Sara, how did she sound?" Any clue from anyone about how she was feeling was better than none. 

"Tired. I could tell something was bothering her but you know how Sara is. She pushes it all off as nothing." 

Grissom sighed. "Yeah I know how Sara is. Thanks Nick." He tossed Nick a piece of candy from his desk and leaned back into his chair. "You should get back to work." 

Nick looked down at the piece of candy then at Grissom. A slow smile spread across his lips. "Right Gris. Work." 

Grissom put his glasses back on and went back to the stack of papers. Nick took another glimpse at him as he pushed his pen across the papers. What the hell was that all about, he wondered? Grissom must have really needed a break. 

~ * ~ 

"Well Miss Sidle you're almost completely healed. The bruising wasn't major to begin with but I bet it's easier to breathe now."  
"It is." She confirmed. It was all very good news but she wasn't exactly in a good mood. Things were left badly with Grissom. She wanted to apologize. Again. She hated fighting with him. Things were so much easier without bickering back and forth, especially now. She was beginning to think that he thought this was a mistake. They both wanted it for so long and now that it was here they were worried it was just a dream. 

She didn't expect him to change. She loved who he was but being with someone was just hard. She hadn't been in a relationship for a long time and guessed that he wasn't in one lately either. Two out of practice reserved people would make most people give up. She couldn't blame him if he wanted a break from them. It really wasn't working out as they hoped and this possible investigation wasn't helping anything. She pushed the bad thought out of her mind. She wasn't going to let him go without a fight. All good things are worth the struggle. 

"I am shocked to see how nicely your ribs are healing." The older doctor said listening to her chest. Once satisfied he moved to the front of her. "Your wrist is doing well also; no infection. Have you been changing the bandages?"  
"Yes sir." She replied without feeling. 

"Good. How are the other bruises doing?" 

"They still ache but nothing I can't handle." 

"The cut on your head is looking nice. Looks like no scar. Have you had any headaches? Lapses of memory? Blackouts?" 

Sara shook her head. "Not at all." 

"That's all good to hear. Any other complaints, comments, questions?" 

She jumped at the chance. "When can I go back to work?" 

The doctor smiled brightly. Even as a doctor who only once a year for the annual exam, he knew she was very ambitious and had a lot of energy. "Whenever the feeling hits you." He said to her. 

"Great." Maybe through work things can get back to normal between her and Grissom. She cherished the thought of working a scene with him again. 

"Now I need you to take your pain medicine if the stitches start to hurt." 

"Should they?" She asked concerned. 

"It's common for the stitches to get caught on the gauze and get agitated. The result is more pain and bruising. If it swells or the stitches come loose then come see me so we can re-sew them. Okay?" 

"All right. When can I take the gauze off?" 

"It's good for air to get to them but I wouldn't push it. Often times when the wrapping is removed you forget that they are in and you end up pulling them. Your next visit, two weeks from now, should allow enough time but I don't recommend taking it off any sooner." 

"So that's it?" 

"Yes ma'am. Get plenty of rest and don't push yourself too hard. You can sign at the front desk." 

"Thank you Peter." Sara said turning to face him. He was by far the nicest doctor she had ever had. "Tell Hillary I said hello." 

"I sure will. You say hey to Dr. Grissom for me." 

She smiled at the thought. Grissom actually had a friend outside of work. She had no idea until Grissom just started up a random conversation with Peter when he picked her up from an exam a year ago. Grissom said they played chess together. Grissom, she thought. She made a decision to call him later to talk. They needed to talk about a lot of things. 

~ * ~ 

Grissom was wading through his paperwork. He had a nice break because of Nick but that was two hours ago. His mind wondered to Sara. He was beginning to doubt that Sara wanted him anymore. All they did was bicker about the slightest thing since the attack. Both of them were on edge. Then this thing with Ecklie to top it off made him want to run for the nearest exit. She probably feels the same way he thought ruefully. "No." He said aloud. No one was around to question the outburst but it needed to be heard as well as said. He was not going to lose her because of his social inadequacies. She meant too much to him, not to try. He pushed himself from the desk and grabbed his car keys. He had to see her. They needed to talk about a lot of things. 

He arrived at her place in record time but she wasn't home so he waited in the on the dimly lit staircase leading to the next floor. He wasn't going to go without seeing her. He never felt this way about someone and he needed to tell her that. She came up the stairs slowly. When he saw her he wanted to go. Maybe she wasn't ready for him to tell her how he felt. Maybe he wasn't ready. She was wearing a stunning purple shirt that hugged her slender form beautifully. He spoke before he realized it. It was almost involuntary. "Sara." 

She jumped back from her door ready to strike, until she saw Grissom stand up from a sitting position from the steps to her right. "Grissom!" She breathed. She held her chest to calm her thumping heart. He scared the living crap out of her. "What are you doing lurking in shadows? I could have hurt you!" 

He smiled at her. No doubt she could have hurt him. She was breathing a little harder than normal and didn't realize he scared her so badly. "Sorry." He said sheepishly. 

"Never sneak up on me like that!" She was still yelling. She calmed somewhat and looked at him. "What are you doing here?" She didn't want to sound like she wanted him to go but she couldn't hide her shock. She thought she would have to call and invite him before him came near her again. 

She looks beautiful he thought. Even in the poor lighting she looked beautiful. He couldn't find the words that he rehearsed of what exactly brought him here. He wanted to talk but he was never good with words. He memorized points to discuss but again they seemed to be lost at the sight of her. He closed the distance between them and kissed her with all the passion he had for her. Sara was surprised by the kiss but she welcomed it with all her being. Every kiss they shared was just as good as the first one after their first date. His tongue danced across hers as he kissed her harder. He finally broke away to catch his breath. 

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." He said in a rush of air. 

She responded by another passionate kiss as he read her mind. Her arms found their way to his salt and pepper curls; the sensation sending chills down his back. He slid his hands under the back of her shirt. The feel of her hot skin was encouraging. 

"Excuse me?" 

Grissom and Sara jumped apart and faced the owner of that voice. "Mrs. Clement." Sara said smoothing her shirt. Grissom stood two feet back from Sara with rosy cheeks of embarrassment. 

The old lady scowled. "I do not believe the hallway is the proper place for such...indecency." 

"I'm sorry Mrs. Clement. It won't happen again." 

Mrs. Clement shook a finger. "See that it doesn't. I don't like seeing that when I come back from checking my mail." She disappeared back into her apartment with a loud shut of the door. Sara and Grissom exchanged glances. 

"Sorry." Grissom said softly. 

Sara smiled and closed the distance again to kiss him. He was reluctant because of the interruption by Mrs. Clement but Sara's tongue changed his mind. "Stay with me." She whispered as she broke the kiss to see his eyes. 

He knew what she was asking. It would be a big step for the both of them. Her eyes were raging with desire and passion. His were the same. "Okay." He whispered. 

A Cheshire cat grin graced her lips as she got her keys to unlock her door. She pushed the door open with force then grabbed his hand to pull him into the dark apartment. 

tbc... 


	8. Everything the Way it Should Be

Chapter 8: Everything the Way it Should Be 

The morning light crept into the room casting a soft glow on the two lovers. The sheets came to lay at the foot of the bed in a tangled mess, as the heat of the night before overtook them. He lays on his back in his boxers while she slumbers on her stomach in his shirt and her panties. Their minds became one a long time ago but now their bodies are one. They completed each other. The light pried open his eyes. He blinked back to the waking world from a restful slumber with the dreams of his soul mate fresh in his mind. 

He smiled as he took in the sight beside him. Sara Sidle, his companion, rested soundly with her hand resting on his chest and her head on his shoulder. He felt the need to touch her. His trembling hand traveled up her arm creating goosebumps on her delicate skin. She stirred but simply rolled away from him and onto her back. He rolled to his side to study her with awe. He knew that it wouldn't last long; Sara was not a heavy sleeper. He was grateful he had an extra moment to silently worship her. His eyes began to journey the length of her body; from her face to her feet. 

His hand trailed from a strand of hair across her face to the rise and fall of her chest. He pushed back his shirt to steal a look at her flat stomach. He boldly grazed his finger across the cut she sustained from the attack. It was healing quickly. He hated what had been done to her, but she was okay. She was safe; she was with him. She took in a sudden intake of air as he glided his index finger across her side. He smiled to himself. She was ticklish and he catalogued that piece of information for later reference. Then he abandoned her stomach to touch her thigh. He was amazed how soft she was. His eyes found a dark bruise on the outside of her thigh. It looked painful. Without thinking he leaned down to kiss it. 

Sara's eyes fluttered open. Something was touching her leg. She looked down to see Grissom raising his head from a lingering kiss on her thigh. She wasn't used to Grissom being comfortable touching her. She liked it though. "Good morning." Her voice was raspy from sleep but it was music to Grissom's ears. 

He came to rest beside her. "Good morning Sara." 

She rolled into his arms with a smile on her face. "I am sorry too by the way." 

He raised an eyebrow. "About what?" 

"Our fight. It takes two people to fight and I am sorry. I wanted to apologize last night but I got...distracted." 

"I think you already apologize last night." He explained lightly. 

She giggled at the memory of last night and snuggled closer. "Why did you come anyway?" 

"Well I didn't plan on this." 

"We should talk." She said softly. 

"I know." 

"I don't want to though." 

"Me neither." He ran a finger along the waistband of her panties making her twitch. "I never want leave this. Ever." 

"I know, me neither." She let him kiss her lips before finishing. "But you have work." 

"Yeah." He sighed. He never thought he would reach a point in his life when he would rather be home than at work. "What did the doctor say?" 

"Peter said hello." 

"I meant about you." 

She knew what he meant, but she was enjoying the flirting. She rarely saw this side of Grissom and she didn't want to lose it too soon. "He said the bruising is going away and the cuts aren't infected. I really feel a lot better. He said I could return to work on my own accord so I was thinking maybe I can come in tonight." 

Grissom lifted her arm. The gauze was still tightly wrapped around her wrist. He softly pulled away the tape and unwrapped her wrist. She watched his eyes. There were enough words in his eyes that no verbal ones were needed. He wanted to see it. He wanted to show her that he cared. He let the gauze fall to the bed and ran a steady finger around the stitches. The two cuts were going to leave a nasty scar. "Do they hurt?" He asked. 

"Some." 

"I don't want you to go back to work so soon Sara." 

She sat up to get a good view of him. She knew what this was about. She kept her tone soft. "Gil you can't protect me from the world. Just please accept that." 

"I don't want you to get hurt again." 

"Neither do I, but that's life." She was quiet for awhile. "Fine. You don't want me at work yet then I won't go." 

He stared at her. She didn't even raise her voice. He half expected her to oppose his decision with more gusto. Reasoning and acceptance never crossed his mind. He was almost unsure if she was really okay because it was so out of character. "That's it?" 

She pursed her lips. "Yes. But I will be back by Thursday." 

"That's what I thought." He said playfully. 

"You know I don't always have to argue." 

"Yes you do." 

She climbed on top of him pinning him to the bed. "No I don't." 

"You're arguing now Sara." He countered holding onto her hips. 

"Oh just shut up!" She hit him in the arm. 

"Ow!" He rubbed his likely bruise. "That hurt!" 

"Good." She jumped off the bed. "What do you want for breakfast?" 

"You." 

She rolled her eyes as she was walking out the door. "I'm making jelly toast if you want some." 

Grissom smiled at the ceiling. "Be right there dear." He heard her laugh from the kitchen. 

"I don't do pet names!" She yelled back. 

He grabbed his white undershirt and went to the kitchen. He watched her move about the kitchen making toast and coffee. She felt his presence and turned to find him staring. "What?" 

"Nothing." He walked over to her. "Need help?" 

"I can handle the toaster." He was about to say something when a piercing ring interrupted him. "That's your phone." Sara smiled as he dropped his head. She lightly grabbed his chin to raise it to her eyes. "Five bucks it's Catherine." 

He shook his head. "I don't feel like losing five bucks." 

The phone rang again. "Better go get it." Sara said. 

"Yeah." He walked back to the bedroom and found it discarded under some clothes on the floor. "Grissom." He sat down on the bed. Sara followed him back to the bedroom and was pleased to see Grissom smiling. "Hey Catherine." 

Sara jumped in joy. She mouthed over to him, 'I told you so'. He couldn't help but laugh which Catherine caught. "Oh it's nothing Cath. It was just something I saw on television." 

"Yeah right bugman." Sara said out loud. 

Grissom dropped the phone to hold it tightly to his chest. "Stop it Sara. She could hear you." 

"Must be hard juggling all those women." She laughed. 

He frowned at her then went back to the phone. "I have to go Catherine, what is it that you wanted?" He looked at Sara then at the floor. "Good. Be in as soon as I can." He flipped the phone shut and tossed it to the bed. He glanced at Sara. "She could have heard you." 

"She didn't." 

He stood up to grab his pants. "I know you know I have to go." 

"Of course, your other woman beckoned you." 

He stopped. "I hope you are just kidding." 

She came over and teased him with a kiss. "Nope." She said. 

She started to walk away, but he quickly grasped her upper arm and pulled her back to him. "I mean it. I love _you_." 

Her playful smile faded. "What?" 

Grissom swallowed the lump in his throat that seemed to suddenly materialize. "I love you Sara." 

She waited for those words. She dreamed about those words. They finally came and she just stood there trying to find her voice. 

"You don't have to say anything." He said watching her. 

"I love you too Gil." She said with a little smile. They both breathed a sigh of relief and kissed. Long, hard, and deep. Morning breath didn't seem to matter anymore. It's not everyday that either one of them confess their love for each other. 

Sara pulled away trying to catch her breath. "Do you have time for a shower?" 

He grinned. "If it's with you then yes." 

"Yes." She pulled him into the bathroom and let the toast burn. 

tbc... 


	9. The Phone Call

Author's Notes: Thanks so much for the reviews. I never thought a romance had to be so in depth. Well this chapter and maybe a couple more is more about Grissom and Sara, not about his job security. Enjoy it while it lasts b/c things always go wrong for our favorite couple. Please send a review, it's encouraging. Thanks! 

Chapter 9: The Phone Call 

"So what's Ecklie's problem?" Sara lathered the shampoo in her hands. "Come here." 

Grissom leaned down into Sara's soapy hands. The shampoo smelled like berries; like Sara. He liked being so intimate with her with something so simple as a shower. He was never the smooth or cool lover, he was nervous about everything. The touches, the glances, everything. He was glad Sara wasn't, or if she was she didn't let it show. 

"It's not really him but he warned me that some people are accusing me of being a bad supervisor. Their argument is that if I would have stood my ground with you, officer Tally might still be alive." He said as she ran her hands through his hair and down the back of his neck. He closed his eyes at the feeling. "That feels so good." 

She smiled and began to rub his neck muscles. "Well if you stood your ground, Jarod would have just waited until the next time arrived, and another officer could be dead. Maybe even me. It could have been worse." Sara rinsed her hands under the shower then moved around him so he had access to rinse his hair. She was glad her apartment had such a big shower. Both of them were. 

He rinsed his head and let the water cascade down his back. He looked at her with water in his eyes. "Were you preoccupied because of our fight?" 

"No. I was preoccupied with the scene. I was mad at you, but I didn't take it to a scene. We agreed to keep our private relationship and work separate. I did." She smiled. "I know I don't always take your advice but I did that day." 

He reached down and grabbed her wrist to view the stitches as the water ran over them. "Sara if I didn't find you in time..." 

"But you did." She finished before he could reminisce anymore in the past. "You have nothing to worry about Gil. We are not going to let them remove you from supervising the graveyard shift without a big fight." 

"Well looking at the bright side, it wouldn't be inappropriate to see you if I was removed as acting supervisor. We could stop sneaking around." He smiled as if the entire threat meant nothing. He would risk his job for her, but she wasn't going to let him give up his job for her. 

She shook her head in disapproval. "That's not an option. I refuse to let you give up your first love because of me." 

He raised an eyebrow. "You refuse to let me?" 

"Yes and you know I am good to my word." 

He leaned in and kissed her wet lips. She snaked her arms around his waist to pull him closer. "I have work." He whispered as he pulled away from her. Any longer and he would really be late. He still had to swing by his place to get clean clothes too. It was hard to deny Sara once she begun so he had to stop before it started. 

She let him go. "Have fun without me." 

He stole a quick kiss. "Not going to happen." He stepped out of the shower onto the bath mat, while Sara soaped up. "What are you going to do today? Let me guess it doesn't involve resting." 

"You know me too well." She called out. "I was actually thinking of going for a run." 

"You run?" 

She poked her head out. "You sound surprised." 

"I just had no idea." He shrugged. "I know you don't want to hear it but please don't push yourself too hard." 

"Who? Me?" 

"Sara..." He warned. 

She went back to washing her hair. "It helps me clear my thoughts. I'll be fine. My ribs don't hurt at all." 

"Just don't run so hard okay?" 

"I won't bugman." 

He smiled. "I thought you didn't like pet names." 

"Not the ones directed at me." 

He raised an eyebrow but he dropped it. It wasn't a bad nickname. He could grow into it. He went to the bedroom to get dressed. There was a major break in his case, possibly a conviction. He was eager to get it done so he could see Sara again. He slowly completed getting dressed by stealing his shirt back from Sara. When he put it on it no longer smelled like him, it had her scent all over it. It made him smile. All this smiling made him realize that he has never been happier. He imagined it would look strange to show up to work with a smile on his face. Even that made him smile. 

"Sara I am going to go. I'll lock up behind me." He called into the bathroom. 

"Hey," she poked her head out just in time to see him. "See you after shift?" 

"Yeah we can talk some more." 

She responded with a smile. She couldn't believe they were 'talking' like it was the easiest thing in the world. "Love you." She said. 

The words were comforting and couldn't be more natural. "I love you too Sara." He walked over to the shower and kissed her deeply. "Don't run too hard okay?" He said backing away. 

"I won't." 

"You better not." He laughed. "I have plans for later." 

Before she protest a surprise he was gone. 

~ * ~ 

The steam clouded Sara's eyes and made her breathing labored as the hot water ran out. She wrapped herself in a towel and went to her room to get dressed. She didn't bother drying her hair, she just threw it in a ponytail. She got dressed in her normal attire; shorts, a tank top, and a sweatshirt. Sara never wore shorts any other time except when she ran. They gave her liberty to push her long legs to the limit. The sweatshirt was an old gray one that she always ran in for her cool down. She tied it tightly around her waist and found her running shoes in their place to put them on. 

She told Grissom she ran to clear her thoughts but she really didn't have much to clear up. She never felt so good. Her relationship with Grissom seemed so natural now. She didn't need to clear her head. 

One thought did weigh heavily on her mind though. Grissom wasn't bothered about the threats against his position. He was a man in love with his work and she knew this and understood it. Her own passion for work was like his own. So it was his shocking comment in the shower that made her worry. He would drop everything for her. She wasn't used to being in a relationship with Grissom, let alone in any type of relationship where he was so honest and open with her. When he said 'I love you' she couldn't breathe. She never thought he would say something so serious so soon, if ever. But then again he never ceased to surprise her. She guessed that is precisely why this bothered her. He never says anything he doesn't mean. He plans his words, so saying that he would even think about giving up his job for her was concerning. She didn't know what he would do but didn't want to be the reason he lost his job. She made sure to get to the bottom of it tonight. 

She nodded her head in agreement with herself and began to wrap her wrist again when the phone rang. 

"Now what?" She grumbled as she walked over to the phone. "Sidle." 

"Miss Sidle, it's Ecklie." 

Her tone was even. "Something I can do for you Ecklie?" 

"I just wanted to inform you that you have been cleared. Things can go back to normal. Have a good day." 

"Hey Ecklie?!" She wasn't excited to talk to Ecklie but she had to know if Grissom was in any real trouble. Grissom was always out to protect her and he would never tell her directly so she took the opportunity to find out. 

"Yes." 

"Is Grissom in trouble?" There was a sigh at the other end making Sara bite her nails. It was quiet for some time. She thought he hung up, but then he spoke. 

"I don't know how serious it is but he under a microscope now. It's all in the departments hands if they want to proceed to an investigation." 

"Does he know that?" She was grasping for straws as to why Grissom wasn't caring the way he should. 

"Yes he knows. Look I really shouldn't be talking to you about this. Catherine already had my ear bent for the passed hour trying to get me to do something but..." 

"But you can't. I know about internal investigations." Sara also sighed on the other end. That's what brought her to Vegas to begin with. She cleared her throat. "Hey we know what you did for him and we all appreciate it." 

"Don't go getting soft on me Sidle. I am the guy to hate remember?" Ecklie smiled on the other end at his own joke but it was gone as quickly as it came."Well have a good day." 

"You too." She said sadly and hung up. She stared at her phone then began to pace back and forth. No matter how calm and happy she was before, it made no difference. She was too worried now. She was beyond worried, or concerned, she was biting her nails again. If Grissom was investigated they would surely find out about them. She didn't want to be the cause of any further distress. She looked at the phone then at the door. She couldn't talk to Grissom until after shift. She glanced at the door again. Now it seemed she needed to run to clear her head before she had a breakdown. She threw open the door, hurriedly locked it behind her, and sprinted down the steps. 

tbc... 


	10. Running on Empty

Chapter 10: Running on Empty 

Sara's heart pounded relentlessly. Her lungs burned as she forced in more oxygen. The pain in her side, as well as her legs, were proof of her exertion but she kept going. Her head cleared. She forgot momentarily about Grissom's possible investigation by concentrating on the dull ache as she pressed on. She felt better mentally. The running was a temporary relief until she could talk to Grissom about her concerns. 

She came to an intersection and made a dead stop as traffic flew by. She cursed the traffic for making her stop yet thanked the traffic for the break. She didn't know how long she had been running but it had to be long because her tank top was drenched with sweat. Her normally pale skinned shoulders and face were pink with sunburn. The salty sweat burned her eyes. Her mouth was dry. Catching her breath somewhat, she realized she was shivering. Heat exhaustion, she thought quickly. She needed water. She took in her surroundings. She was only two blocks from work and knew for a fact that the fridge in the lounge had ample supply of bottled water and a chair to collapse in. Grissom wouldn't be too happy to see her pushing herself but she was closer to work than home. 

She jogged up the front steps to the crime building. The cool air inside hit Sara in a wave. She had to close her eyes because of the immediate change in temperature. When she opened them she was grateful that no one noticed her arrival. She walked briskly past the front desk towards the lounge. 

She stepped into the lounge once she found that it was clear of people. She had no doubt that she looked bad and she didn't want to worry Grissom. Again. He worries too much about me, she thought. She untied the sweatshirt from around her waist to put it on. The cold air in the building was making her shiver more now; she hoped her sweater would slow the process. Then she made her way to the fridge. She had to get water in her system, because if the violent chills were any indication she was on the edge of heat exhaustion. She ran cold water over her wrists and splashed some on her face and neck. 

Sara took a quick seat in one of the chairs involuntarily. Her legs felt like rubber. She had no idea she was running so long and so hard. She would pay dearly with sore muscles tomorrow. 

Grissom and Catherine were walking passed when they saw Sara in the lounge bent over in a chair. His heart leaped. He made a sharp turn and walked right in on her trying to calm her breathing. 

"Sara what are you doing here?" He thought she looked horrible. Her skin was pasty looking. She looked sick. He definitely left her in better condition. 

Her head shot up in a hurry. "Grissom. I was..." She wanted to explain but Catherine was right behind him. "I needed some water." She said quickly. 

Catherine stepped in around Grissom who was frozen in the doorway. "Sara, look at you." Catherine exclaimed holding up her arms. "Let me get you a cold washcloth." 

"No Catherine I should go." She said looking at Grissom wanting to explain. She hoped he would follow her out so they could talk. She rose from her chair in a hurry. The result was a dizzy feeling that had her falling back to the chair. 

Grissom ran over and stopped her from falling further and striking her head on the table. "Sara what the hell were you doing? You're soaked." 

Sara gained her bearings. He knew exactly what she was doing, he asked for Catherine's sake not his. "I was in a pageant for sweatiest woman in America." She replied sarcastically. Grissom just frowned and did a side glance at Catherine. "I was running." She said finally. 

Catherine came over with the washcloth. "Put this on the back of your neck." 

"I just got up too fast. I'm okay really." Sara said. 

Grissom pushed a strand of bangs from her wet face without thinking what Catherine might think. He was finding it hard to be discreet when Sara was so sick looking. His tone was gentle. "Sara you are clammy and too white to be okay. How long have you been running?" 

If only she could tell him that she was worried about an investigation, then he would understand why she lost track of time. She wasn't doing this on purpose. She might have caressed his face for reassurance that she was okay but Catherine was too close for such an action to go unnoticed. "Grissom I am fine." Sara stood up to prove her point. On wobbly legs she stabled herself. "See. Just have to take it slow." 

Grissom gave her a disapproving glance. She was going to hear about this later no matter what she said now. 

"I should go." Again she hoped Grissom would follow. When Sara pushed past Catherine, who was blocking her path, she got very lightheaded. The next thing she knew she hit the floor and nothing but black surrounded her. 

"Sara!" Catherine yelled. 

They rushed to her side and rolled her over on her back. There was blood on her chin from a busted lip. 

"Dammit Sara!" Grissom yelled. His heart jumped in his chest. He wasn't angry with her but angry that she was brushing this off like nothing. That and he was scared. He thought he got through to her this morning. 

"The last thing she needs is to wake up and find you're yelling at her. Again. I know anger is your only emotion these days but not now. Not with Sara." Catherine scolded him. 

"If she would just listen to me." He exclaimed. He reached for her neck to check her pulse. She was hot to the touch. "Her pulse is through the roof. We need to cool her down." Grissom began to remove the sweatshirt that clung to her sweaty body. "Get her shoes and socks." He said quickly. 

"What?" Catherine asked puzzled. 

"The three places heat is lost is the hands, head, and feet. Take her shoes and socks off." 

Catherine didn't question him anymore and removed Sara's socks and shoes. Then he slid his arms under Sara's small frame and lifted her up with ease. Catherine did a double take at his ease to touch her. After all this was the man that avoided human contact, especially with Sara. He seemed comfortable holding her, like he was meant to. He carried her down the hall toward the locker room. 

"Mr. Grissom what's wrong with Sara?" Judy and another secretary stood close by and watched the scene in concern. 

"She passed out." He said quickly. 

"Will she be okay? Do you need an ambulance?" 

Grissom ignored her and motioned for Catherine to open the door to the locker room for him. 

"She's fine Judy." Catherine called as she held open the door. 

Grissom made his way back to the showers. Sara was deathly pale now, almost with a green tint. He was getting really worried. "Turn on the shower. Luke warm water. Not too cold and not too hot." He ordered her once Catherine arrived. 

Catherine did as she was told and tested the water with her wrist. "It's ready." 

He sat her down under the water gently. There was an immediate response to the water as Sara woke up and clung to Grissom, getting him wet in the process. She didn't know where she was at all. The last thing she remembered was the lounge trying to leave. She blinked over at Grissom who unclasped her hands from his shirt and was now bent down beside her out of the water. 

"You passed out from heat exhaustion." He said reading the confusion in her eyes. "I am going to adjust the water to cool. Okay I need you to take slow deep breaths." Grissom turned the hot water knob down just a little. When the water hit Sara she started to hyperventilate. "No Sara! Calm down. Slow deep breaths." 

Sara listened to Grissom's voice and her hand groped for his thigh. Her breathing was calmed and back to normal now. She leaned back into the wall and let the cool water run over her. She noticed she was in the locker room without her sweater and shoes on. She had both on before, didn't she? Her mind was unable to focus. Oddly Sara could only think about the risk of getting Athlete's Foot from the shower. 

"You feel better Sara?" Catherine voice came. It sounded off in the distance to Sara. 

She didn't even have the energy to speak she just nodded her head. Her tongue snaked out to get some water. She was surprised to find that it tasted like blood. 

Grissom was watching her carefully. He had seen this happen before but that didn't mean he wasn't scared when Sara passed out. It was a good thing he knew what to do. He watched Sara lick her lips. "You busted open your bottom lip when you hit the floor." He reached up and turned the water off. "Let me help you up." 

There was no such thing as helping, Grissom picked Sara off the floor. Her body was completely drained of any and all energy. It was amazing she could hold her head up to look at Grissom. 

"I'm wet." She smiled tiredly. She swayed into him then backed away realizing they weren't alone. 

Grissom smiled back full force; teeth and all. "Yeah Sara you are wet. Cath get me a towel from my locker." Catherine watched the spectacle in awe completely unaware that Grissom was talking to her. "Catherine?" She jumped. "The towel please." 

"Right." Catherine came back to Sara and Grissom with a towel. "Here." 

Grissom draped it around Sara shoulders and began rubbing her arms for warmth. "Better?" He asked. 

Sara just nodded. Her eyelids were heavy with sleep. She didn't even realize she was back sitting on the bench. Grissom began dabbing the blood off her chin and lip. She liked to be taken care of by Grissom he was gentle. She jerked away as he applied some kind of ointment that was burning. 

"Sorry but I don't want it to scar." He said softly with a little smile. "Do you feel sick?" 

Slowly Sara came back to reality to look at Grissom. "No." 

He stood up and spoke to Catherine. "Catherine could you cover while I take Sara home. She should be fine but I want to make sure." 

She raised an eyebrow at them. She knew something was up. Between his behavior and her behavior there was something going on. Catherine just smiled. "Okay. Take it easy Sara." She teasingly touched her shoulder. If there was something between them it was best for both of them. She walked out the door with a menacing smile on her face. 

"Get your shoes on. I'll be right back." Grissom rushed out of the room. Sara sat in a quiet moment on the bench. She missed his presence immediately but was too tired to move. The wave of exhaustion was overcoming her senses. She didn't even hear Grissom come back in. 

"You ready?" He looked at her bare feet and got his answer. "I got you some water. Don't drink it too fast, all right?" Grissom watched Sara take the bottle in slow motion. "Sara what possessed you to run eight miles?" 

She didn't answer, because she couldn't. She was falling asleep sitting there. He bent down and put her shoes on. He stood her up and placed a hand on her elbow to guide her out of the locker room. 

tbc... 


	11. The Promise

Chapter 11: The Promise 

As soon as Sara was seated in Grissom's car her head fell back. When he crawled in she was sound asleep. He knew that heat exhaustion was like going ten rounds with a heavyweight boxer. What little energy you have, is spent trying to recover from collapse. Your body just can go anymore; you stop. He reached across her lap to buckle her in. She could have been seriously hurt. The thought just wouldn't leave him alone. He glanced over to her and took in her peaceful appearance. He hoped he would get a chance to question her, but running for eight miles meant that she wasn't going to be awake anytime soon. 

He remember that she said that she ran to clear her head. Something was very wrong to make her run so hard. He thought everything was fine this morning so whatever was bothering her happened after he left. 

He pulled up to her apartment building and finally got her awake. "Sara come on, you're home." 

She blinked hard. "Okay." She slurred. 

Grissom knew she didn't really comprehend what was said because she just closed her eyes again. He went around the side and helped her out of the car. She winced in pain as he practically carried her up to her apartment. Her leg muscles were tightening as the lactic acid started to make a comfortable home. Once inside her bedroom he started to peel the wet clothes off of her. 

"Sara, sweetheart, how do you feel?" He asked as he pulled her wet tank top off. 

"Sleepy." She fell onto the bed without another word. Her mind was thanking him for once again being there for her. 

He shook his head while he removed her shorts and shoes. He found an old t-shirt in her drawer and pulled it over her head then removed her bra. He didn't know why but it didn't feel right to see her naked when she was unaware of him. He removed the ponytail hair-tie then backed away. 

"Sara are you really okay?" He wasn't expecting a response but he had to ask. She meant the world to him, and he didn't like to see her like this. Again. She was so drained. 

Satisfied that she was warm and taken care of, he picked up her wet clothes and hung them over the towel bar in the bathroom then he went to the kitchen for a drink. His nerves were shot, seeing Sara like this twice was leaving him drained too. The tap water was cool. He drew some water in her sink and did what little dishes she had. After he finished wiping the counters off he checked in on her once more. She didn't even move. He left the door open so he could hear her if she got awake. He wasn't ready to leave her. Not now. Catherine would have to deal without him. He sat comfortably on the sofa and began to read a book she had laying open. Before he even got past the prologue he fell asleep. 

~ * ~ 

Sara rolled over and noticed that her bed lacked its other resident. She sat up and looked around. It was now dark outside. She was sure when Grissom drove her home it was still light out. He probably went back to the lab, she thought. Her stomach growled and she realized just how hungry she really was. Because of Ecklie's warning, Sara didn't eat before she went for a run. It was for the best really. If she did eat she would have thrown it back up. 

She began to ease out of bed to go to the kitchen but stopped at the pain. Every muscle from her abs down to her feet hurt like hell. She managed to come to a standing position without screaming out in pain, but the first steps were horrible on her thighs. "Shit!" 

Grissom's eyes flew open. He heard Sara. It wasn't part of the dream he was having; she sounded upset. He went back to check on her and found her bent over, hands on thighs. "Sara?" 

She looked up. "I thought you went back to work. What are you still doing here?" 

He frowned at her inability to answer the question he was asking when she he called her name. "I am sure Catherine can handle it for one night. Besides it seems that it was a good thing that I didn't leave. Sara...look at you." 

She laughed. It was so sudden that it startled him. She was in tears and red from laughing but she didn't move from her bent position. "I can't move." She said between breaths. "Help an old lady out would you?" 

He went to her side and helped her to the bed. Once seated she let her head fall back onto the mattress. "How's that?" He asked. 

She laughed again. "It still hurts. I think I aged thirty years as I slept." 

He looked at her body. "Well do you mind telling how this happened?" 

"You know you should be more concerned that I can't move." 

"I am concerned but it's because you collapsed in the lounge. What happened?" His tone was serious. 

She raised her head just slightly to see him. "Oh not much." 

He leaned over her on the bed, resting his hands on both sides of her shoulders. He was on his knees looking down at her. "Seriously Sara. Over exertion and collapsing from heat exhaustion is not a joking matter. I told you to go easy." 

She bit her lip. She was afraid of this. "Gil I swear this isn't normal. I usually don't run so hard. I swear." She paused for a quick breath. "Are you mad at me?" 

He sighed. "No but I would like to know what happened after I left to make you run the whole way to work? Something was bothering you." 

"My legs hurt." She said at the thought of how long and hard she ran. She wasn't trying to avoid his question but the pain in her legs really made it hard to think. 

"I bet they do." 

"I'll tell you if you rub them." She smiled seductively. 

"You'll tell me anyway." 

Her smiled widened. "True but that doesn't help the pain in my legs any." 

He found his footing again as he came to a standing position. He bent down and took her right foot in his hand. He began to massage it. "Start talking." 

Sara jerked as he kneaded her tense muscles. It hurt but felt too good to tell him to stop. "That feels so good. You have no idea." He climbed his way up her calf. She was tense, he could feel the knots. "Ow! That hurts. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts. Oh stop!" 

"I told you to take it easy Sara." He stopped but let his hand travel up to her thigh. He was actually enjoying touching and rubbing her legs. They were in great shape from the years of running. She got goosebumps as his hand traveled further up her leg. He stopped just shy of the shirt hem touching the top of her thigh. He began to knead the muscle with his fingers. She groaned in response. "I don't know whether to kill you or make love to you." 

He had to raise an eyebrow. "I'll keep that in mind." He continued to rub harder. "Well are you going to tell me?" 

She raised her head. "Ecklie called me." 

He stopped. "Really? Why?" 

She let her head fall back and she closed her eyes. "That doesn't matter. He told me that there might be an investigation examining your duties as supervisor." 

"I told you that." He shrugged. 

She jerked under his hand. "No you didn't. You brushed it off like it wasn't going to go any further. Why didn't you tell me it was this serious? God, Gil you can lose your job if an investigation is started." She closed her eyes again. "And don't tell me that you aren't worried." 

He stopped and came to lean over her again. She opened her eyes. "So you mean to tell me that you ran until you couldn't anymore because of me? You collapsed because you were worried about me?" 

She searched his eyes for something; anything. "Gil are you mad? Tell me the truth." 

He caressed her cheek with a warm hand. His thumb traveled over her busted lip and his rage melted. Something inside him chiseled away when she confessed her concern for his well being. He had no idea. "No Sara I am not mad. I have found that it's impossible to stay mad at you for long periods of time." He kissed her lightly on the lips. "And yes I am worried, but as long as I have you...it doesn't matter." 

"You say that but I know you Gil. You love your work." 

"I do." 

"I know you do so don't say things like that. I don't want to be any reason for your discomfort." He looked away from her but she pulled him back to her gaze. "Promise me that you won't give up. We all need you." 

"I promise Sara." He whispered. He knew he could not break that vow that he just took. It was unbreakable. 

"Good because I can't lose you Gil." She was about to say something else but her brain lost it's function as he began to kiss her neck. It sent electricity through her body. Words lost their appeal and action took their place. She decided to begin her own assault on his ear. It stopped him dead in his tracks. She smiled against his skin. 

"Oh...Sara...where do you get all this energy?" He pulled away from her lips' grasp but came to sit on her hips. She got up on her elbows and sent an evil smile. "I thought your legs hurt." He croaked out. 

Her response was a jerk of her hips against him. It was painful for her yet it had it's rewards for both of them. He fell forward on his hands and closed his eyes. "Sara do you know what you do to me?" 

She began to kiss him again. "You started it." 

tbc... 


	12. Avalanche

Chapter 12: Avalanche 

The alarm buzzed loudly in Sara's ear. Her arm snaked out from under the blankets and hit the snooze button. She rolled back to Grissom. 

"Um...was that the alarm?" He asked without opening his eyes. 

"Uh-huh." She pulled the sheet to her chin. "Sleep. Now. Tired." 

He chuckled snuggling closer to her. "You tired? No way." 

"My legs hurt so bad right now that maybe I won't be joining you for work after all." 

"Still sore?" He smiled. He knew she was in pain and last night's fun didn't help any he was sure. 

"What do you think?" She mumbled. 

"Just so you know it was a real turn on that you were so worried about me." 

She rolled onto her back with a noticeable intake of air; her muscles protesting every move. "I think I put that together last night." 

Ten minutes later the alarm went off again in Sara's ear. Her arm snaked out from under the blankets for the second time. With one solid jerk she de-plugged it and she threw it across the room. 

Grissom rolled over pulling her to him but again didn't open his eyes. "I'll buy you a new one." He said sleepily. 

She moaned. "I won't be needing it." 

They fell asleep again tangled in each other's arms. Every muscle in Sara's body ached and Grissom was just worn out. He kept thinking he should get up but he drifted back to sleep. Another shrill ringing cut through the dead silence. Both Sara and Grissom's head shot up. 

"Didn't I..." She started. 

Grissom detached from Sara and found his cell phone ringing on the nightstand. "Hello." 

Sara just looked at him then closed her eyes. "I can throw that too, if you want?" She mumbled into the pillow. 

"I'll be there as soon as I can. Yes thank you." He closed the phone but didn't say a word. He just stared off into space. Sara noted the silence and opened her eyes. He just sat there. 

She propped herself on her elbows. "What's wrong?" 

"There's an inquiry." 

She jumped to a sitting position ignoring the pain in her legs and abdomen. "What? When?" 

"Now. Preston McFadden came in this morning. I have to meet with him at one." He looked at her. "I have to go." He threw the blankets to the side and found his clothing scattered across the floor. He pulled his boxers and pants on in a hurry. 

"Gil?" Sara said trying to get his attention. 

He continued to search for his clothing. "Where is my belt?" 

She got out of bed with the sheet wrapped around her naked body and removed the belt from the lamp. "Here." 

He looked up. "Thanks." He ran it through the loops then sat down on the bed to lace his shoes. "You should try to get some rest today." He said without looking up. 

"Gil look at me." He still ignored her. He was too worried and didn't want Sara to see it. He knew that if he took one look at her she would know. 

"Hey." She came over and lifted his chin. 

"Sara..." He didn't want to talk. Not now. He had to get his thoughts together. 

She knew what he was thinking and simply placed a kiss on his cheek. "It's going to be okay. Call me if you need me." 

He forced a smile. "I know it's going to be okay and I will. Get some rest." 

"Well I guess I can now that you won't be here." She shoved his shoulder in a playful manner to lighten his mood. 

But he didn't even smile. His visage conveyed only seriousness. "I love you Sara." 

The words still surprised her for some reason. He always slipped them in when she didn't expect them. She was always surprised but her answer never changed. "I love you too Gil." She ran a hand through his tousled hair. "You better go." 

"Yeah." He gave her a pop kiss on lips. 

She watched him go then got a shower and dressed. She gave up on sleep. It wasn't going to come easily now no matter how tired she was. 

~ * ~ 

The drive to his place was horrible. His mind swam with thoughts. First Sara and the way he left her. He didn't like to just leave but he needed to go. They agreed that talking was the best medicine for everything but he wasn't ready to talk about the end of his career. He loves what he does, and that he could not deny. Sara even knows that and that makes it even harder to hide the knot in his stomach. 

Then he thought about the inquiry. They could find out about his hearing, Sara's work habits, or worse they could find out about them. If they found out that he was sleeping with a subordinate both of them could lose their job. If they find out about his hearing then he loses his job. If they find out about her work ethic, she could lose her job. His heart sank further into despair. Sara would leave him, and he would be worthless to everyone. He shuddered at the thought. It seemed that there was no way this could end on good terms. 

He kept telling himself that it was just an inquiry and nothing serious but he knew better. Inquiries were only done because of protocol. You had to have an inquiry in order to run an investigation. He didn't know what he was going to do. 

His mind would drift back to Sara; so beautiful and full of life. She made him feel alive in so many aspects that he couldn't dare to lose her, but if he kept her he could hurt her. He didn't know what he was going to do but he refused to hurt her. 

Once he arrived at his townhouse he got a quick shower and fresh clothes. He drove into the lab with sweaty hands clutching the steering wheel, breaking the speed limit the entire way. He was relieved that it paid off. It was a twenty minutes 'til one so he had time to gather his thoughts. He rushed through the hall towards his office until a voice stopped him. 

"Dr. Gil Grissom?" 

An older tall lanky man approached Grissom with his hand stretched out. He wore a gray suit, white dress shirt, and blue tie. His shoes were shiny and well polished. This wasn't an average cop or CSI; probably never worked a crime scene, Grissom mused. He took his hand. 

"You must be Mr. Preston McFadden." 

"That I am. Nice to finally meet you Dr. Grissom." 

Grissom cocked his head to the side. "Finally meet me?" 

"Well the way some people talk about you around here, I couldn't wait to meet you in person. I have also read a lot about you. You're an excellent CSI and your ability to solve crimes made Vegas second best." 

"Thank you." Grissom gestured towards his office and Preston followed. "I have heard a lot about you also." 

Preston went around Grissom's office touching and examining the jars filled with specimens. Grissom wanted to laugh at the disgusted look on his face. He got that a lot when people came into his office. Yet the seriousness of the situation made his shoulders feel heavy. 

Preston looked up. "You've probably heard all bad things." He mused. "I am notorious for my internal investigations." 

Grissom flinched at the word. "You are not very popular but neither am I. I guess that makes us in the same boat." 

"Well I don't know about that. You seem to be very popular here with your staff and even that goofy lab tech." 

"Greg. He is good. The best lab tech we have." 

He nodded. "Well as you know this isn't a formal investigation on your career. It's just an inquiry to decide whether to move forward or drop it. It will not go on your record Dr. Grissom." He smiled a crooked smile. "But you already know that." 

"Yes I do." 

Preston looked at his watch. "I know it's early but I would like to get started. Five minutes in interrogation room one?" 

"That will be fine." 

"Good." He left with a nod. 

Grissom got the impression that Preston McFadden was all business. He was glad in a way because no matter what the outcome, the inquiry was non-biased and he wouldn't go fishing for his relationship with Sara. Unlike if it were Mobley or Ecklie who might make it personal. The decision would be acceptable and not seen as revenge. Then again if it was handled in-house he could always claim injustice and it might be dropped. He sighed. He couldn't believe he was thinking like this. He didn't do anything wrong to begin with. He collapsed into his chair and covered his face with his hands. He refused the urge to call Sara. He could handle this. 

tbc... 

  



	13. The Inquiry Begins

Chapter 13: The Inquiry Begins 

"Dr. Grissom, I just would like to start with some simple questions. I will be taping our conversation for filing reasons only." 

He nodded. He was calm and in control like always. Grissom was good at keeping things at a distance and this was going to be no different. He would approach it with reasoning and a critical eye. "Of course." He replied in an even tone. 

Preston laid a legal pad on the table and unbuttoned his suit blazer. "Well then let's start. How long have you been working in the Vegas Crime Lab?" 

"A little over fifteen years." 

"Wow, that is very impressive." Preston flipped through Grissom's file. "In fact your entire record is remarkable." 

"I love my work." Grissom explained simply. 

Preston gave a cocky smile. "But when you became supervisor you didn't want the job." 

"Not initially." 

"Why?" 

"I hate paperwork. I am a scientist, not a pencil pusher." 

Preston chuckled. "Good answer." Grissom did not even crack a smile so Preston cleared his throat and moved on. "Well what about now; do you like your position?" 

"Yes. I take pride in our ability to solve crimes. I have a good crew." 

"Um." He scribbled a note. "So you would like to keep this position?" 

"Yes." 

"Do you feel in any way responsible for the attack of Sara Sidle?" 

Grissom flinched but did not waver. "It wasn't preventable. Jarod Morse needed revenge. I am grateful that I reached them in time to prevent Sara's murder. If it was any more preventable then I would be the first to do so." 

"And Holly Gribbs?" 

"An unfortunate accident. We all blamed ourselves for her death." 

"But it happened because just one of your CSI's was gambling instead of clearing a crime scene. I believe that's why CSI Sidle was brought to Vegas." 

Grissom remembered the call he gave Sara. She sounded just as wonderful as she did before. He began to lose contact with her over the years and didn't know if she would stay even if he asked. But she did stay and he couldn't be happier. He stared at Preston for a moment before he spoke. "Warrick Brown is successfully fighting his addiction." 

"Why did you reinstate him?" 

"I lost one good CSI and didn't want to lose another." 

There was another scribble. "Are you aware that CSI Willows was also attacked at a crime scene with CSI Brown?" 

"Yes I was informed of that instance, but it was the officer that left her, not Brown. He was stuck in traffic I believe. People forget that just because we are the criminalists and not cops that we should be fine at a crime scene. They are wrong. It's a proven statistic that most attacks are done after the crime and it's the investigators that get attacked, not the police." 

"I'll have to look that up." 

"I'll get you a copy." Grissom shot back. 

"So when Gribbs was killed, you called in Sidle." 

"Yes." 

"What's your relationship to her?" 

"Now or then?" 

"Has it changed?" 

Grissom swallowed. "All relationships progress Mr. McFadden." 

"So enlighten me." He was getting tired of Grissom's answers. Afterall Preston wasn't the bad guy; yet. 

"Before Sara came to work for me, she was a student. Now we are close friends and I have the utmost respect for her abilities as a CSI." 

"Is she is your student now?" 

"No. Sara is fully capable now and does not need me." 

"She needed you that day." Preston watched Grissom throw spears with his eyes. "Why did you go to see her if she was capable of going solo?" 

"Like you mentioned, attacks have happened before. I wanted to check on her." Grissom cleared his throat. "And to apologize for yelling at her." 

"So you were sorry for your fight." 

"We both were on edge with the cases we were working." 

His pen found its way to his mouth. "Which brings us to why you didn't pull her. Why is it Mr. Grissom that you choose to let Sidle pull a double despite being on "edge" as you put it?" 

"She has pulled doubles before." He replied. 

"Even doubles on another double? It seems odd." He leaned forward. "Thinking out loud, either you had no idea that she was running on the brink of exhaustion, which dictates neglect, or you didn't pull her because you didn't care, also pointing to neglect. Which is it?" 

"Neither." 

He sat back. "Your entire fight was because you didn't approve of her work ethic. You had to know that she was running on empty. Why didn't you pull her?" He repeated. 

"I know what empty is for Sara and if she can fight with me, then she is not on empty." It sounded hollow in his own ears, yet he believed it. He wanted to believe it. 

Preston scribbled something down then looked up. "Did you apologize?" 

"Yes." 

"Someone told me that she can be a handful." 

A flash came when she picked a fight with Shelton for the murder of his wife. "Then you asked the wrong person." 

"She is stubborn." 

"She is persistent. We need more CSI's like her." 

"Okay I'll buy that, but the fact that she worked almost three days nonstop doesn't bother you?" 

Grissom sighed. "It does but I trust her enough to know when to call it quits." He looked at his hands. "She knows her limits better than I do." 

"She collapsed yesterday from overexertion. Do you still think she knows her limits?" Preston waved a hand before Grissom could answer. He realized he was slipping and getting quite of topic. The last thing he wanted was an inquiry on the woman that had been through enough already. "Don't answer that. You worked the attack on Miss Sidle by the books. I am here for you Dr. Grissom, not Sidle. Run me through your actions when you walked in on Jarod Morse and Sidle." 

Grissom was relieved that the whole Sara subject was dropped. "I warned Jarod Morse four times. He didn't get away from her and was going to stab her. I fired without hesitation." 

"Yes, there were three shots correct?" 

"Yes." 

"Do you think if she wasn't exhausted then she would have heard him enter?" 

Back to Sara again. "I thought we weren't talking about Sara." 

"We aren't talking about her work ethic but I am talking about why you didn't pull her. That is your job as supervisor. You messed up she didn't, now answer my question Dr. Grissom." 

"First of all I didn't mess up. Secondly, I think if the officer was in the house and not sitting in his patrol car, it might not have happened. I think that if the crime scene was cleared it might not happened." His voice was getting an edge despite his efforts to control himself. 

"You blame officer Tally?" 

He lost it. He was tired of the word games and the attack on his skills. He leaned forward into Preston's face. "No, I blame the sick bastard that hurt Sara." 

Preston looked at Grissom completely shocked by the language used and the stance. "Yes he did hurt her." He said slowly then scribbled something else down as Grissom sat back and collected his thoughts. "He cut her right wrist, correct?" 

"Yes. Twice." Grissom tried to keep his breathing calm but the day came back in a flood of images: Sara's wrist bleeding, Jarod Morse sitting on top of her, his hands touching her stomach, the knife dragging across her skin, her voice when he said his name, her eyes when he looked at her, Jarod still touching and hurting her, three shots, Sara panicking, crawling, in shock, and more blood. The scene was playing over and over in his mind. If he didn't reach her in time...what would he have done? 

"He cut her stomach too." Preston added but when he noticed Grissom's heavy breathing he sat his pen down. The change of demeanor usually never happened during his questioning. Despite his reputation, Preston McFadden was a fair man. He saw that jokes were wasted on Grissom but he did not begrudge him. Anyone that loved their job would be worried by an inquiry. Yet it seemed that Grissom was more defensive about Sara Sidle than his job. He watched Grissom closely for another moment. He was in his own world. "Dr. Grissom are you okay?" 

He looked up somewhat surprised by his question. He slowly came out of his trance. "I don't like seeing one of my CSI's hurt Mr. McFadden. Any good supervisor would say the same thing." 

Preston nodded in total agreement and considered his options. "I think we are done." He concluded. 

Grissom seemed relieved and rose to his feet. 

"I will be talking to your group. It's..." 

Grissom waved a tired hand. "Protocol." 

"Yes." Preston said with a sigh. He watched Grissom exit. Preston began to hate his job. He hated investigating those that were only victims of circumstance. Yet it was his job to determine if that circumstance was avoidable. He released a heavy sigh and turned the tape recorder off. 

tbc... 


	14. Fading

Chapter 14: Fading 

Grissom's feet carried him back to his office where he closed the door and sat in the dark. He couldn't help but think that his questioning didn't go well. When Preston asked about Sara, he got defensive and was unable to hide his feelings of contempt for Jarod Morse. That was the first time that happened in a very long time. Then the images came. He never told Sara but he had nightmares about her that were most unpleasant. She lay on the cold slab in the morgue because he didn't get there in time. He had to hear her voice; alive. He reached for the phone but a knock on the door stopped him from dialing. 

"Come in." He called placing the phone back. 

Catherine poked her head in. "Hey Gil. You don't look so good." She came to sit in the chair in front of his desk while he rubbed his temples. 

"Well it hasn't been a great day." 

"It's just an inquiry Grissom." She said trying to comfort him. Little did she know but he already had someone to comfort him. 

"I know but they lead to investigations." 

She sighed. "Yeah well you have nothing to worry about, because you didn't do anything wrong." 

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?!" He snapped. His eyes fell to his desk. "Sorry." 

"No need to apologize. It has been rough for all of us." 

"Why are you here so early anyway?" He said going to his pet spider to feed him. He had to get back on track. 

"I have a date with the executioner in interrogation room one." She looked at her watch. "I am actually late." 

"Then you should go. He might think I am coaching you." He replied dryly. 

She stood up and ran a hand through her hair. "The truth doesn't need coaching." She gave him a warm smile of reassurance. 

"Thanks Cath." 

She nodded and turned to leave but stopped at the door, with an evil grin on her face. "How is Sara by the way?" 

"Uh. What do mean?" 

"You took her home but never came back. How is she?" 

"She was doing a lot better this morning." 

"This morning?" Her smile became harder to control. 

Oh great he thought, I just gave us away; just think quick. "Yeah. She wasn't feeling well last night and I decided it was best if I didn't leave her alone." Catherine raised an eyebrow so he continued. "Um. Hey thanks for taking over the shift. I am surprised McFadden didn't grill me on that one." 

"Well when you didn't show back up I kind of knew Sara probably needed you, so I lied and said you were in the field." She gave him another half-smile. 

"Oh." 

"You should go home and get some rest. Some time alone can clear your thoughts." 

The thought was appealing. He was exhausted and the good rest might make him put things into prospective. "I just might do that." 

"Well that's the first time you've taken my advice about work." 

"There is a first for everything." 

~ * ~ 

He never got to speak to Sara because she never picked up her phone. He thought about trying her cell but decided to go back to his place and let her sleep in. She didn't need his troubles and he didn't want to put it all on her anyway. He needed to talk to her but he dreaded what thought he needed to be said. 

When he entered his townhouse the first thing he noticed was the smell of cooking. A very stunned Grissom found Sara in his kitchen bent over the stove. She turned when she heard him drop his things. 

"Hey. Food is ready." She said simply. "Before you ask, yes I know how to cook spaghetti. I even heated some precooked meatballs just for you. If they were raw I think you would have to do without though." 

He just stared at her as she spoke. Sara was in his home, cooking dinner, even meat just for him. He couldn't help but sound shocked. "What are you doing here?" 

"Making you something to eat." She limped over to him. "You're lucky I can walk or you would have to starve." She captured his lips with hers, but before he could really kiss her to make the moment last as long as possible she pulled away. "It's ready." 

He flopped down at the kitchen table. "You didn't have to do this Sara." 

"You look tired." She said ignoring his lecture. It worked. 

"I am. Let's just say it didn't go very well." 

"Don't think about it. Just eat." She set a plate of steaming spaghetti with meatballs in front of him. 

He grabbed her hand before she walked away. He turned it over and stared at the fresh gauze. She started to get annoyed. This infatuation with her stitches wasn't exactly helping either one of them. "Gil stop." 

He released her wrist as soon as she said it. "Sorry." 

Just like that the world went quiet. He couldn't hear the refrigerator humming or the fan over the stove running. More importantly he couldn't hear Sara talking to him as she made herself a plate. He knew she was talking the whole time because when she turned around, she appeared to be in mid-sentence. He watched her lips but no sound reached his ears. 

She sat down across from him. "Gil it will be okay. I've been thinking..." She looked at him for a moment and realized he was staring at her lips. "Gil?" 

He picked out his name on her lips and would give anything to hear it again. "I can't hear you Sara." He said simply in defeat. "I didn't hear a word you just said." 

She began to move her lips slowly. "It's okay. Let's just forget..." 

He concentrated on her eyes so he wouldn't compulsively read her lips. "Don't bother." He said coldly. 

Sara knew that Grissom preferred lip reading to sign language because it was less obvious that he couldn't hear. She knew he felt useless and vulnerable when he couldn't hear, but she wasn't going to let him do this alone. Like the other lapses they would pass, until it did she began to sign. 

"Sara stop!" He yelled. He was frustrated and irritated by this disability and took it all out on her. 

She actually jumped when he yelled at her, like if he physically struck her. He never yelled at her like that. He never sounded so angry. The previous arguments had a frustrated tone, but never pure anger. She dropped her hands to her lap and tried to blink back the tears. 

As quickly as it left, the sound of the world came rushing to his ears just in time to catch her last word but her actions spoke much louder. 

"...leaving." She stood up in a hurry and rushed for the door before he could see her crying. 

He leapt from his chair so fast that it crashed to the floor. "Sara wait!" 

"No Gil!" She said spinning around. The tears ran freely down her face. "If you want to talk you know where to find me." 

It pained him to see her crying because he hurt her. "Please, I can hear you now." 

She seemed somewhat relieved but the hurt in her eyes did not leave. "Well I am so glad that only you get to pick the times to talk, but I am going." 

He grabbed her arm. "Don't leave. Sara, I am sorry." She turned around and he released her arm. "It's not easy to know that I won't always be able to hear you. I don't want to lose you." 

"Gil when are you going to understand that I won't leave you? I love you!" She shouted to make him understand. "You don't know, maybe the surgery can stop this." 

He scoffed. "There is a good chance that it won't." 

"I will still be here!" 

He flinched as her shrill voice hurt his ears. "But you shouldn't be." He whispered. 

"What?" She almost laughed at his absurdity. 

"I am too old for you Sara. My hearing is just proof of that. I don't deserve you. You need..." 

"Why is this suddenly bothering you?" She interrupted. 

"It's not sudden; fifteen years is a long time." 

"This isn't happening." She turned away from him in frustration. She took a deep breath and turned back to him. "Age has nothing to do with us. You are too smart to know that age and health have nothing to do with love." 

He kept his head lowered. Love. That's why it hurt so much to say what he had to because he loved her. He had to say it. It was safer this way. Safer for both of them. 

"I think we should stop seeing each other." The words stung his ears. 

tbc... 


	15. Always

A/N: Okay I posted two chapters today because it has been collecting dust. It should be done by the end of this week, hopefully. 

Chapter 15: Always 

"What?" 

With his head lowered he walked into the living room and fell onto the sofa. He's entire posture conveyed emotional drain and agony. "We should stop seeing each other." 

The stabbing pain in her chest deepened when he repeated those words. She couldn't believe what he was saying. She knew that Grissom was not an emotional person, but she was sure he could not deny the past month they spent together. It made no sense. She calmed herself and slowly sat down in front of him on his coffee table. She was always too stubborn to just leave. 

"Is that really what you want?" She asked with the utmost dread in her heart that he would say 'yes'. 

"Sara I can't fight the world." 

She touched his knee to get his attention. "I didn't fall in love with the entire population of Earth. I fell in love with you, Gil Grissom. The man that likes bugs for company, the man that works too much, the man that isn't good with people, the man that finds it hard to share feelings, the man that knows the most of trivial things, the man that can run an experiment seven times and still be fascinated, the man that has the bluest eyes I have ever seen, the man that knows me better than anyone, the man that makes my stomach flip and my heart skip when he touches me, and, yes, even the man that has otosclerosis." She was on the verge of tears as she spoke. "I love you, Gil Grissom. Please don't do this to me." 

He got so lost in her brown voids that he had to touch her cheek to convince himself that she was real. She closed her eyes relishing in his warm hand. 

"This isn't going to be easy." He said watching her. 

Relief washed over her. They were still together; he didn't push her away. She forced watery eyes to open. "Well they say love is hard." 

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her salty lips. "Loving you is easy, but everything else..." 

"Doesn't matter." She finished. 

He fell back onto the sofa and rested his head. She took one look at his exhaustive figure before bringing his foot to her lap to remove his shoes. 

His head fell forward. "What are you doing?" 

She cocked an eyebrow. "Undressing you." 

"Sara..." 

"You need sleep. Now you can go willingly or I can drag you into bed." She tried to sound stern but her smile was misbehaving. 

He grinned as he pulled her onto the sofa with him. "As if you would have to force me into bed with you." 

"Who said I was joining you?" 

"Hey, let's take a nap right here." He slowly kissed her making it last extra long. 

"Hmm. That sounds appealing but I have to do the dishes. You didn't even touch my supper." 

"Later." He laid down on his side motioned for her to curl up beside him. She complied. He grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the sofa and spread it across their close bodies. He brushed her hair back and laid his head against hers. 

"Sleep is good." He said slowly letting exhaustion take over. 

"It is now." She whispered before falling asleep herself. 

~ * ~ 

The first thing he noticed when he came out of a restful slumber was that Sara was no longer sleeping beside him. He checked his watch; four hours was a long nap. He sat up to find Sara in the kitchen cleaning. Then the music reached his ears. He recognized the song as Percy Sledge's 'When a Man Loves a Woman'. The music was low, like her voice, but the effect was not lost. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He never felt so in love with anyone. Careers, wages, rules, all went away as he watched her. 

She wiped the counters as she danced to the song. It brought a smile to Grissom's face. She rinsed the sink and turned off the small kitchen radio. When she turned around Grissom was staring at her. "Hey." 

"That is a good song."  
She blushed and walked towards him. "Did I wake you?" 

"No. How long have you been awake?" 

"Almost three hours. I managed to eat, do dishes, and clean your kitchen. I wasn't that tired." She smiled as she stood in front of him. "You were tired though." 

"I had good company." 

"It sounded like bad dreams though. Can I ask what they were about?" 

It was a simple question. Being open with each other should not be a burden. For the first time that is exactly how he felt. No secrets. Questions are meant to be answered. "You." 

"Me?" 

He slid his hands to the back of her thighs and pulled her towards him until she dropped onto his lap, straddling his hips. "In most of them you were hurt and I was working your case. But in this one, _I_ hurt you. I am sorry I yelled at you earlier. You were only trying to help me. I shouldn't have snapped at you." He grew quiet and stared off into the distance. 

"Are you okay?" She asked softly. 

"After we fought in my dream you left me; for good. You never came back because you were afraid I might hurt you again." He held onto her hips. "It was a horrible dream." 

She forced a smile. "A real nightmare huh?" 

"I never want to hurt you Sara." He said seriously. 

"I know Gil." She fell into his chest for a hug. 

They sat like that and allowed time to become nonexistent. His hand slipped under her blouse long ago and he began to trace her shoulder blade for the umpteenth time. He knew the inquiry was not over and he couldn't help but think about it despite Sara's calming breath on his neck. He pushed away her hair with the other hand before gently placing a tender kiss on her soft skin. 

Sara's reaction to the kiss was immediate. The chills he sent through her body made her gasp involuntarily and brought her to full awareness that she was sitting on top of him. The tingling sensation remained long after his lips left her skin. It was peaceful; like the warmth from his chest and the sound of his breathing in her ears. She never loved anyone so dearly. She lifted her head and brought a sweet kiss to his lips but he took her lips and devoured them with passion. She pushed into his chest trying to taste every inch of his mouth sending both bodies into a frenzy. 

The phone rings. 

"Let the answering machine get it." He mumbled as he traveled down her neck. 

She closed her eyes. "It's my cell Gil. It would be sus...picious if I didn't answer it." 

He continued and she let him. It rang once more. "Gil I should get that..." 

"Then go." He smiled kissing her again. "I won't stop you." 

Her eyes drifted shut again against her will. "You are a master of persuasion." She whispered. 

He chuckled and pulled away from her. "I know." 

"Be right back." She jumped up when he stopped. He made a playful grab for her arm but she ducked away. She went to the table by the door and retrieved her phone. She leaned against the wall for support since her legs weren't exactly in control after Grissom turned them to Jell-O. 

"Sidle." 

"I will fire whomever that is when I get back." Grissom stood up and came over to her. 

She held up a hand to silence him. He took it and kissed every digit. "Okay. Thanks Nicky. Yeah bye." She closed her phone. 

He couldn't hold back. It was a flood of desire. He began to suckle her ear and unbutton her blouse. She twitched involuntarily as his fingers grazed her skin. 

"I have to go to work." She croaked out. 

"You're on sick leave and I am sure Nick would rather work solo." 

She slid down the wall so he would stop undressing her. He read the seriousness in her eyes as she looked up at him. 

"Preston McFadden." He stated. 

She nodded. "I have an appointment at five." 

"Dammit!" He leaned up against the wall sliding down to join her. His hands covered his face as his temples began to throb with an oncoming migraine. 

"It's okay." She whispered. 

The confidence in her voice alarmed every synapse in his head. His hands dropped and he spun to face her. "Sara Sidle if you do something stupid..." 

"Who? Me? Look I know how McFadden and internal investigations work. I'll be fine and I promise..." She said innocently as she rose to her feet and buttoned her blouse. 

"Don't you dare promise anything." He interrupted sternly as he locked eyes with her. "Promises shouldn't be broken." 

"Well then I promise that I promise I won't break a promise, not to you." 

"I mean it Sara, please don't do something that I wouldn't do." 

She grabbed her keys and coat. "Grissom if I did that you would be dating yourself." 

"I mean it." 

"Look I have to go." She attempted to kiss him but he pulled back. 

"No I am coming with you." He said defiantly. "I need to keep an eye on you." 

tbc... 


	16. The Many Signs of Love

Chapter 16: The Many Signs of Love 

Sara Sidle didn't actually have a well thought out plan but she wasn't going to let Grissom get crucified for doing his job. He was the best CSI and the best man she ever got the pleasure of knowing. She loved him too much to see him become a victim of the system he defended. They agreed to take separate cars to CSI so they didn't look suspicious, but both of their thoughts were still with each other. 

"Hey Sara." Nick called when he saw her step through the doors. It was nice to see her after all this time. She looked good despite the small limp she had from the collapse Catherine told him and Warrick about. 

"Hey Nick. Warrick. So where's Grissom and Catherine?" 

"Right behind you." Grissom replied dryly. He came to stand beside her just to be near the woman he loved. He hoped no one noticed their close proximity. 

"How are you feeling Sara?" Catherine asked. 

"Sore from the running. Sorry if I scared you Catherine. Time just got away from me." 

"That happens too often." Grissom whispered and let his knuckles brush hers. 

She cocked an eyebrow at him but didn't retaliate. She turned to the guys. "So what is this McFadden guy like?" 

"Sara you can't ask them that." 

She turned once again to Grissom. The lines on his face grew deeper. Her heart broke when she saw him like this. She wanted to somehow reassure him. "Grissom..." She started to say but a voice interrupted her. 

"Sara Sidle?" 

She and everyone else turned to meet Preston McFadden's gaze. For the end of the day he looked refreshed, which scared Grissom. 

"Yes." She answered extending her hand. 

"Preston McFadden. I am sorry if this interview wasn't at the best time. I was told that you weren't doing very well because of a running accident." 

"Overall I am much better Mr. McFadden. Thank you." 

Grissom watched the exchange with weary eyes. He didn't know what to make of McFadden or Sara for that matter. She seemed in control, not nervous or upset. For the first time he felt more emotional. He blinked slowly. Please don't do something stupid Sara, he silently pleaded. He didn't want to lose her. A job was something he could gain back. He wasn't so sure that was the case with her. 

"If you are ready, I'd like to start the questioning early." 

She glanced at her watch. "Actually I am not ready so I'll meet you in seven minutes in interrogation room one." 

McFadden stared at her blankly. Was he in charge or was she? "Suit yourself Miss Sidle. Five sharp in interrogation room one." He turned on his heels and walked away leaving the nightshift to stare after him with contempt simply because he was doing his job. 

"Go Sara." Warrick cheered. "I told the bastard to back off and he almost had me fired too." 

"It's her charm." Catherine smiled. 

"Must be. He grilled me for almost forty minutes. He made me walk through an entire crime scene that I worked with Gris." Nick chimed in. 

Grissom just stood numb. She was planning something very stupid. Sara was never that charming and bossy at the same time. "If you'll excuse us." He grabbed Sara's arm and pulled her towards his office away from three very dumbfounded CSI's.   
Once safely inside with the door closed, but not locked, he went into a tirade of words. "Sara you tell me right now what you are going to say in there." 

She smiled. "Grissom, I am going to tell him what he wants to know." 

"If that were the case you wouldn't be grinning like that. No there is something going on in that head of yours." 

"Do you trust me?" She blurted out. 

"It is that type of question that scares the hell out of me." 

She walked over to him and stood dangerously close. "Do you trust me?" 

He sighed and felt himself give into her as the words fell from his mouth. "Yes. Of course I do, but I don't want you to do something you will regret. Maybe I am not cut out to be a supervisor. I never wanted this job to begin with. And my questioning was horrible. He thinks I neglected you and the team." 

"It went better than you think." 

He brushed her attempt of comfort away. "My hearing will come up eventually Sara, you know that. Maybe this is just how it was meant to be. I can't be a very good CSI if I can't hear." 

"We have an appointment with your doctor by the end of this month to discuss surgery." She reached for his hand. 

He sighed. "If I do quit, it might be for the best." It pained him to say it, but maybe this was how it was meant to be. 

"The best for who exactly?" She squeezed his hand when he remained silent. "You know the _lab_ needs you." 

He smiled and squeezed her hand back. "The lab huh?" 

"Well I need you more but the lab always needs a good CSI with your abilities." Her smile widened unable to keep the serious tone. "I will send you a plant if you stay." 

He laughed this time; a real laugh that made her world stop. 

"Yeah you owe me one." He said between chuckles. "I can even help you with the card. 'From Sara'." 

"Hey I kept that card! It said everything I needed to hear." She began to chuckle along with him. 

It was hard to believe that they had come so far in a real relationship. The two of them actually managed to get passed the fighting, the misunderstanding, the awkwardness, and the fumbles. There will be more but nothing they won't be able to handle. They both enjoyed the dance they had, but this quickly filled the void. They were complete. It was before that they had an unresolved tension that kept them apart, yet it was that tension that finally brought them together. 

"Seriously Grissom," She said clearing her throat. "We all need you to get through this. We all need you." 

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I love you Sara." 

She stood in shock. "Do you realize you just said that out loud? At the office? Where someone could have heard you?" 

"Yes." He leaned in and kissed her slowly and deeply. The world gave way as two hearts beat as one. When he pulled away, she was left flushed and stunned. Grissom just kissed her with the blinds open. What if someone saw them? But suddenly that didn't matter at all. 

"Oh Gil, I lo..." 

There was a knock at the door and Nick poked his head in. The two of them separated faster than the handsome CSI could notice. "Hey Sara, Preston asked for you. You are two minutes late. I told him you were in the bathroom." 

"Thanks Nick." She turned back to Grissom then walked away, with unsaid words. 

He dropped his head heavily unable to reach her or hear her words. 

"Hey you!" She said leaning in. She quickly formed 'I love you' with her hand, before walking away. It felt unreal like one of his dreams. Finally it wasn't a dream and he wasn't going to wake up alone. He would always have her. Always. No matter what happened. 

tbc... 


	17. Sara's Defense

Author's Notes: I am so sorry for the delay between posts. It's really not like me to leave a fic so unfinished for such a long time but things haven't exactly been great. Thank you for the reviews. Take care.  


Chapter 17: Sara's Defense 

"If you'll take a seat please we can have you out of here in no time." Preston McFadden gestured towards the chair opposite of him and Sara slowly sat down. "I have heard a lot about you Miss Sidle. It was a real shame what happened." 

"It could have been worse." She said flatly. Indeed it could have been much worse. She could have been murdered, or she could have lost Grissom to his insecurities. She was at a point where losing him could be the worst. 

McFadden tried to size the brunette up and down. There was something about her personality that intrigued him and irritated him to no end. He viewed her file like he did the rest of Gil Grissom's team, but their initial introduction was different. The other woman was just as brazen and defensive, but this woman had a quality that he found almost annoying. "I understand that you know the ropes of internal investigations." 

"I thought this was an inquiry." 

He nodded. She was really familiar with the inner workings of his job. That could be the reason he saw her as a threat. "I want you to know that I will be taping this conversation and I expect you to answer all of my questions." 

She smiled sweetly at him showing her gap. "Of course Mr. McFadden." 

He adjusted the file in front of him. "Let's begin. On the day of your attack, there was a heated argument between you and Gil Grissom. Can I ask what it was about?" 

"Grissom was upset that I was working a case and not getting my rest." 

"Do you normally pass up sleep for a case?" He asked after he scribbled a note. 

"Yes, when it's hot." 

"He never made you slow down?" 

"Yes." She chose her words wisely. "He has restricted my overtime hours and ordered me home for rest many times before." 

"But he didn't choose to that day?" 

Sara breathed deep. "No." 

His brow furrowed as he got the upper hand on the questioning. "He is a superior. He has the responsibility. Why didn't he order you home?" 

"Ask him." She shot back venomously suddenly surprising even herself. She eased her tense shoulders. This isn't going to work if I can't keep myself in check, she reminded herself. 

He made a line on the paper to give the illusion he was writing something. "At the crime scene were you distracted by the fight with Gil Grissom?" 

"No. I wasn't distracted. I was concentrating on the scene." 

"With only eight hours sleep you were able to work a crime scene solo to the best of your capabilities?" He asked enjoying his sarcastic tone of voice. 

Her eyes narrowed. She didn't mind that this man was just doing his job, but he knew that there was nothing here. He was just fishing for _anything_ he can move forward on. She wasn't about to let that happen. "First of all it was nine hours, not eight. I can work any crime scene anytime, anywhere, anyhow with less sleep than nine hours." 

"Quite sure of yourself aren't you?" He smiled to get her get angry. Anger was an emotion very hard to control. 

"So I am told." She calmed her breathing. "Is that all you have for me?" 

McFadden almost wanted to laugh but refrained. "Dr. Grissom is a good CSI..." 

"A great CSI." She added quickly. 

"Yes he is." He eyed her for a moment before leaning in on his elbows. "You know I get the feeling that you know him better than those I talked to before." 

"I don't know about that." 

"Do you doubt his judgment?" He asked quickly switching gears to start the verbal chase. 

"Not for a second." 

"So you were not worried at all that he wouldn't save you?" 

"No." 

"How many years have you known Gil Grissom?" 

"Ten and counting." 

"Catherine Willows has known him longer and still she doesn't know that much about him. Do you find it hard to connect with him?" 

"No. I connect with him best." 

"Do you see him as good with people?" 

"He is not a people person but then again most of the people he meets are dead." She shot back with a dry smile. Her Grissom was never good with people but always good with her. 

"Would you protect him?" 

"Against what? A suspect with a weapon, a bullet, the common cold, a killer clown, you?" 

He was quiet until it dawned on him. "Do you have intimate feelings for Dr. Grissom?" 

She tilted her head to the side when he finally took the bate. "I think you know exactly what you want to hear. It doesn't matter what I say." She looked at him cautiously. "The truth is Mr. McFadden there is nothing I wouldn't do for Gil Grissom. There isn't one of us that would willingly let some absurd inquiry take him from the forensic field. If you are implying for one minute that I am easy or sleep around with my coworkers, then I believe I have every right to file charges. If that is not what you are saying then perhaps you should be more careful with your words or there may be an inquiry." 

He sat dumbfounded and now enraged. "Is that a threat Miss Sidle?" 

She half-smiled. "Of course not. You know how inquiries are; needed in all the wrong places." 

"Do you regret taking the case?" He was getting defensive and planning right into her hands. 

"Not for a second." 

"So you do not regret that an officer was murdered and his family has to go on without him?" 

There was a sudden lump in her throat and he relished in it. She tried to forget that part before it drug her down into nothing. The thought of being responsible for a human life terrified her. I'm not responsible, she told herself and neither is Grissom. It was Morse. Say it. "It was Morse that murdered Officer Tally. I cannot regret someone else's actions, I can only offer my sympathy to his family. Gil Grissom is in no way responsible for any of this." 

"Look Miss Sidle, this is how it works. Your boss, that you so blatantly put on a high pedestal, neglected his duties. I cannot ignore 'what ifs' Miss Sidle. We may not be here if Gil Grissom had done his job and sent you home." 

"You are right." She nodded. "I may be dead because Morse would attack me at home where no one could prevent it. I guess Grissom would still be responsible for killing me, because he sent me home. 'What ifs' Mr. McFadden are for those with no evidence. I am a crime scene investigator I rely on evidence not on theory and speculation. I guess that is the difference between you and me." 

McFadden shot daggers with his eyes. "Watch yourself Miss Sidle." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I'm running the questioning, not you and I don't like your tone." 

"I don't like you." She hissed. 

There was a knock on the door and Mobley almost barged in with Grissom in quiet tow. Grissom was wearing a look of disbelief and worry, while Mobley held a sure sign of a headache. Mobley whispered something in McFadden's ear that neither investigator could understand. McFadden stared Sara down as he rose to his feet. 

"Gil let's go to your office." Mobley said cutting into the tension. 

He shared an uneasy glance with Sara. How could she be so stupid? This wasn't like her. He silently complied and followed the two men to his office. The stares from the entire lab could not be ignored as they bore holes in his back. Before he could collect himself, his shaky hand closed his office door. He took a deep breath and stepped behind his desk. Possibly the last time he would have authority behind that desk. 

Mobley exchanged glances with McFadden who now seethed with irritation. "There will be no formal investigation Gil." 

He blinked. "What?" 

"Don't think for one minute that we cannot conduct one." McFadden put in quickly. 

"The truth is Gil, we don't need bad publicity." 

"Sara." He muttered in shock. 

McFadden crossed his arms across his chest. "She would ruin the investigation." 

"The system would be a mockery." Mobley added trying to calm McFadden but it didn't work. 

"I know she planned this, but I still don't know why. She was out of line Dr. Grissom and I could suspend her without pay for the stunt she pulled." 

"We won't." Mobley added. "But maybe you have to. Her behavior cannot go unpunished. What would the system look like if its own CSI's lost trust in it?" 

"I'm not suspending Sara Sidle." His voice almost belonged to someone else. 

McFadden stared him down. "You misunderstood. We are not giving you a choice." 

Grissom turned to Mobley. "Just do it Gil. Suspend her for a week until this blows over." 

He boiled with anger as he spoke. "No." 

"Fine, she is suspended effectively immediately for three weeks." McFadden said with a smile. 

"What?!" 

"Would you like reconsider?" 

Grissom stared out the window to the team now standing in front of his office. The only one he saw was Sara with worry etched across her lovely face. 

"Be political Gil." Mobley said. "It can save us all some future trouble." 

"One week." 

He nodded. "One week. Now, I think it's best if all of this was put behind us. But I do hope you've learned something from this mess." 

"I have." He said letting his blue eyes land on McFadden's tired worn face. Sara really got under his skin. 

Mobley turned away but McFadden pausing for a moment. "Off the record, do you have feelings for that woman?" 

"There is no such thing as off the record Mr. McFadden, but for your own personal knowledge, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for her or anyone else on my team." 

McFadden raised an eyebrow. "She said the same thing about you." 

"Then I guess I am not as unpopular as I thought." 

The older man's lips tightened into a thin line before dragging his body out the door. 

tbc... 


	18. Everything is Back to Normal

Chapter 18: Everything is Back to Normal 

The team slowly filtered into the office one by one noticing Grissom's slouched form. They only managed to hear the occasional shout emanating from the office, which couldn't have been good news. 

"Grissom?" Catherine asked into the silence. "What's the verdict?" 

"Yeah. What did they say?" Nick put a protective arm around Sara. He felt she would need the most support if the worst had happened. Everyone knew that Sara only got defensive during the questioning because of their history together, whatever that may have been. They had a special bond and everyone could see it. His grip tightened reassuringly. 

Grissom's eyes locked with Sara's first before traveling around the faces of such great memories. Warrick Brown, Nick Stokes, Sara Sidle, and Catherine Willows. They were _his_ team. He worked with them everyday. There was a special bond he didn't expect to exist when he took supervising position. He thought he was just the boss, the guy that pushed for paperwork to be done on time, handed out assignments, and offered advice when needed. This entire episode of politics made him realize that these people were more than subordinates. They were his family. 

"Grissom if you don't say something, I'm going to kick your ass." Catherine said teasingly but her smile was strained. She would never admit it but losing Grissom would tear her apart. He was the one that helped her through the rougher points during her marriage. Granted it was in his own distant way, but it had helped nonetheless. She valued his friendship more than she ever let on, even to the man himself. 

Her smile was slowly returned as he stepped around his desk breaking the supervisor barrier with his friends. "It would seem that you all are stuck with me." 

The room lit up with smiles and cheers. "You had us worried Gris." Warrick said with a light squeeze of Catherine's shoulders. 

"The place wouldn't feel right without you Gil." She said letting relief wash over her. 

Nick stepped forward and offered his hand to Grissom. "Yeah, Grissom. I think we all would have left if they sent ya packin'." 

Grissom gave a little chuckle as he shook Nick's hand. "Thanks Nick." 

Sara stood back to take in the sight before her as her friends congratulated the man she loved. She beamed with pleasure. Grissom caught her smile and shrugged as Catherine wrapped him in a hug. She mouthed 'I told you so' before she was crushed by Warrick's arms enveloping her. 

"Who is up for a bite to eat?" Nick asked gleefully. 

"Yeah it's time to celebrate!" Catherine exclaimed now hanging onto Warrick's arm in happiness. 

"I'm up for that." Sara said cheerfully. 

"Well technically shift just started an hour ago." Grissom said dampening everyone's spirits. 

"Gil, just accept. You deserve it." Catherine said sternly. 

"Cath..." He started hesitantly. 

"All right, it's settled. We are going on break to get dinner and you _are_ coming." 

"Good." Sara shot him a toothy grin. "We all have plenty of time for work." 

"I agree!" Nick shouted raising his hand. "Let's go!" 

Grissom's smile soon faded as he realized Sara would be off work for another week. She wasn't going to be happy. He wasn't happy with the scenario either, but it was better than losing her for three weeks. Before he could ask for some privacy to be alone with her, Greg ran straight into the office, through the crowd, and nearly knocked Grissom down with a fierce hug. 

"We are going to miss you man! I just want you to know that we are going to fight this. We can get through it. We are a team!" 

Grissom let his arms hang at his sides not knowing what to do. He searched for help among the group but only got stifled laughs at his expense. Slowly he peeled Greg's arms from his body. "Greg the only place I will be going is away from you." 

The room erupted in a loud laughter making Greg spin around in confusion before turning back to Grissom. "You are not fired? But I heard..." 

"Sorry to disappoint you Greg but no I was not fired." He replied dryly with a frown. 

He breathed again and smiled. "I am never taking a vacation again! I come back and my Sara has been attacked by some psycho, my boss was almost fired, and my music is missing from the lab!" 

Greg's rant sent the room into a frenzy of more laughter until Grissom cut through the fun. "I took your music from the lab because it was crowding the machines. It is hazardous. Not to mention that it is not proper for a place of business." His tone was dry and serious but it only fueled the chuckles from the team. 

"Grissom I really believe that the lab wouldn't be the same without you." Catherine said placing a secure hand on his arm. 

"It might be a little safer for me." Greg whispered backing away. 

Sara threw her arm around the lab tech's neck. "Greggo you wouldn't be safe anywhere right now." 

He smiled. "How are you feeling anyway? Did you miss me?" 

"Of course I did, and I am feeling much better thank you. But hey, next time tell me when you claim me as your own. I'd like to be a part of the decision." 

"Deal." He hugged her roughly and placed a big kiss on her cheek. "You had me worried Sar." 

She lightly punched his arm for the nickname before adding. "Don't worry." 

"Let's get some chow!" Warrick yelled. 

"I heard that!" 

They began to walk out until Brass halted the party at the doorway. "Whoa where's the fire? Grissom are you in control of this mob?" He called over their heads. 

"Yes I am." He smiled. 

He walked in and shook Grissom's hand. "I'm glad to hear that." 

"We are headed out to dinner. Would you like to come along?" 

"I think you all may want to hold off." He slipped a paper into Grissom's hand. "Eight car pileup on the highway." 

After reviewing the paper his eyes met the nightshift. "Get your gear." 

"I'll grab my coat." Catherine said slipping out the door. 

"Right behind ya Cath." Nick called in dismay, who was later followed by Warrick. 

"I guess I better finish up my work before I am overran again." Greg said halfheartedly. 

"And I guess I'll grab my kit." 

"Sara, I need to speak to you." Grissom said stopping her. "Uh Brass, could I speak to Sara alone?" 

Brass nodded slowly. "I'll meet you there." 

Sara watched the door close softly behind the detective before returning her gaze to Grissom. "What's wrong?" 

He sighed. "I have to suspend you for a week." 

She gaped at him. "You've got to be kidding me." 

"It's politics." He came to stand in front of her trying to be subtle in his way of telling her that he wasn't happy about the situation either. "You really got under McFadden's skin. He wasn't the least bit happy by your attack." 

"I did not attack him!" She exclaimed in disbelief. "I cannot believe this!" 

He reached for her hand to calm her. "I'm sure Mobley wouldn't mind if it was effective a day later, since we need the extra hand." 

"This isn't about this one case! A week? Grissom this is ridiculous!" 

He unconsciously rubbed her knuckles and smiled. "I know but what you did wasn't exactly a good move." 

Her brow knitted in confusion. "Are you mad at me?" 

He released her hand then stepped around to open the door trying to be as serious as possible. "Go get your kit now Miss Sidle. We'll discuss this later." 

"I'm in trouble with you when we get home, aren't I?" She whispered suppressing a knowing smile. 

"You have no idea." He answered holding open the door with a blank expression on his face. 

tbc... 


	19. Beginning

A/N: This is finally the end of my dabble in romance for good. It's tedious writing a love story and, well, I can't. I don't even know how I managed to type 19 chapters. Shout out to all those that reviewed. Thanks. 

Chapter 19: The Beginning 

After breakfast with the team everyone went home with a little less on their minds. Grissom felt more at ease and possibly younger in some ways. He couldn't have done it without Sara. The team offered great support but she was his medium to hold on to before he was swept down stream. He still couldn't believe she performed such an idiotic stunt though. The ball could have rolled either way and they could have lost their jobs. It was quite a gamble on her part. He had no idea what he was going to say to her. She was stubborn and wouldn't listen if he had a microphone but he had to let her know that he wasn't pleased by her actions. He sighed; that wasn't going to be easy. 

There was a familiar key jingle at his door before Sara peeked her head in. "Gris?" 

She leisurely stepped inside under the suspicion he fell asleep. He had really been through enough to make anyone sleep for days, she thought. Just as she turned around he pinned her to the door. "I thought you fell asleep." 

"Sara Sidle you are too smart for your own good." His tone laced with agitation. She tried to kiss him but he drew away from her. "What you did was stupid. We could have both lost our jobs." 

"Wait...you _really_ are upset?" She asked confused. 

"Why shouldn't I be? I told you not to do something like that, but you did it anyway. You never listen to me." 

"I knew what I was doing Grissom." She said almost irritated as she tried to get away from his grasp. 

"I'm disappointed in you Sara." He said keeping her in place. 

She locked with his eyes trying to read them. "Then I should go." 

His eyes fell on her parted lips but bypassed them to her ear. "No." He whispered sending a chill down her spine. 

"You!" She exclaimed with a smile. "I thought you were mad at me!" 

He smiled. "I am." 

She bucked against his hold. "Let me go." 

"No." His eyes studied her face before stopping on her lips. 

"What?" She asked with a sly smile. 

He looked up to meet her brown eyes. "I didn't approve of your suspension." 

"I know." She said watching his features flicker with pain. "Don't worry about it." 

"It was one or three weeks. I tried..." 

"I said don't worry. It's over." 

"Yeah." He breathed placing his forehead against hers. "Catherine suspects we are together by the way." 

"Huh? How?" 

"I just know she knows or at least suspects." 

"Does that bother you?" 

"She will find out." 

"Are you telling me because you care, or because I should care?" 

"Neither." He said pushing her hard against the wall for a stunning kiss. 

"Grissom you're hurting me." She whimpered slightly. 

He jumped away viewing the red marks on her arms. "Are you okay? Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you?" 

"You weren't." She said darting away from his grasp only skidding to a stop on the other side of the kitchen table. 

"That was mean Sara. I thought I hurt you." He said sauntering over to the kitchen. 

"I had to think of some way to get away." She raised an eyebrow. "It was touching that you were so concerned though, too bad I don't go for that sappy romantic crap." 

"Liar. You love that romance. I caught you reading a romance novel only a month ago." 

"I was doing some research." She lied. 

He rose an eyebrow. "Now that I know you will do anything to get your way, I won't go easy on you when I catch you." He rushed towards her and she circled the table avoiding him. Again they stopped and stared at each other. "Come on Sara. I am an old man." 

"You weren't last light." 

He gaped at her. "I cannot believe you just said that." 

She laughed so hard she didn't see him coming until he had her around the waist. Her eyes released tears of joy as the waves of happiness hit her. "Grissom put me down!" She laughed. 

"Fine." He placed her firmly on the ground spinning her to face him. 

They stared at each other. Her dark hair strewn across her reddened face and her chest heaving. His eyes sparkled with life that she hadn't seen since the start of their troubles. He brushed the hair from her face and she leaned into his hand kissing the palm. 

"You are so amazing." He whispered more to himself than to her. 

She brought her soft lips to his. "That compliment can go both ways." 

The kiss was light, almost sweet and kind. She sent jolts of intense electricity through his body every time a touch was given or a kiss was explored. She felt the same way, if not more wildly passionate for the man that occupied almost every thought of her entire day. 

"Take me to your bedroom." She breathed releasing his lips. 

Without a word he wound their way to the bedroom by her command. Reaching the room, he pulled her through the door closing it softly behind her. She released his hand and moved towards the queen size bed. "This is the first time I've seen your bedroom." She said in a light humorous tone. "When do I get a drawer?" 

He watched her in such a trance he hadn't heard the words. A new day's sun rose through the cracks in the blinds and cast small shards of light onto her body. Her posture was elegant and at ease. His eyes wandered down her back to the back of her calves admiring her. Loving her. Someone almost took her from him. She had the scars to prove just how close he was to losing the most precious thing in his entire life. The pain in his chest when he saw her was hard to bear. He couldn't exist with such pain. He couldn't exist without her. He would crumble and die because his life lay within her. She was the only thing that could breathe life into his cold world. For the first time in his entire life, Gil Grissom, found what he needed to live, not to exist, but to live. 

She turned away from the welcoming bed to face his quiet form when he didn't reply. Her eyes met a face of uncertainty. "Grissom?" 

"Do you know how much I love you Sara?" 

"Of course I do." Her brow knitted in beautiful confusion as he moved toward her. She smiled in what she thought was understanding. "Grissom I know that you see your home as a sanctuary and if this is too fast, I understand. It's no big deal. Really don't..." 

His index finger on her lips stopped the jumble of nonsense. He softly pushed her onto the bed kissing her lovely lips. Her eyes closed immediately when he began a hot trail of kisses down her neck to play on her collarbone. Then he stopped and pulled away. 

"What's wrong?" 

He examined his fingers caress her soft cheek. "I do love you Sara." 

"I love you too Gil." She whispered before closing the short distance between their lips for a tender soft kiss. 

end. 


End file.
